I’m tired. It’s nice o’clock at night, and I’m tired already. I usually sleep at 3 in the morning or sometimes much later than that, but I guess I’ll be sleeping earlier today.
The blog is going to be short too. I’m just too tired right now to think of anything. I have no topics in my head, no ideas in my mind. I’m right now just tensed about tomorrow morning.
Firstly, because I’m worried if I will be able to wake up on time or not, and secondly, it’s a big day. I don’t feel like it, but it is a big day for me. I feel like it is just an ordinary day, and it is okay if I mess it up, or even if I miss it completely, but I guess, I might regret it later if anything like that happens tomorrow.
Now good night boys and girls, nothing worthy here, just an update, I’m just too tired. I’ll bring something exciting on the table tomorrow.
Talking to someone,
Someone who doesn’t want to talk,
Isn’t it the toughest?
You say hey,
They say go away,
And yet you have to stay modest.
You try to talk to someone,
You think you are good with,
But you are not,
You thought you are friends,
You thought you are better,
But I guess you are not.
Talking to a broken one,
Just to know how they are,
But they get back and bite!
You want to help them,
Because you couldn’t earlier,
But now they just spite.
You want to talk to someone,
But now the salt is real,
Here sugar won’t help,
You know, and still, you try,
For old times sake,
You tried, but welp.
You work, they stalk,
You move, they know,
You sit, they spectate,
You sing, the play,
You shout, the echo,
You agree, they debate.
When you cared they didn’t,
Now that you don’t. they do,
It’s hard to explain,
There was still time,
There was still hope,
But now, nothing would remain the same.
When you want to have something you have never had before, you might need to be someone you’ve never been before. Changing yourself for the better might be something that you really need to do and you know when you are changing for the better or the worse. Changing seems to be a necessity to reach a goal.
But change doesn’t always mean results and changing yourself might not be the best thing to do. If you get everything you ever wanted, but you don’t love the way you are or the way your life would be, then you need to think, is it really worth it?
The worst thing you can ever do? Is changing yourself for someone. Someone might never fall for you for who you are and so you set out to change yourself. But are you sure, do you really want to pretend to be someone you are not, just so that you can be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
Love yourself first. Try to know yourself first. See who you really are and the things you are pursuing, are they something you really want or are you after them just because everyone else is. Or is it just because you don’t see an option right now and you are just too impatient to wait for another one.
Take care of yourself, make yourself better – changes, goals, ambitions – everything will come eventually, and everything will become better once you know yourself and know what you really want.
Indulge in things you really want to do. Something you always wanted to do, but forgot about it while chasing dreams that aren’t really yours, while doing things your friends wanted to do, while running the rat race, while growing up.
And when you start loving yourself, you will find time to take care of yourself.
Umm, hmm, uh… I’m leaving.
It’s final. After having 160+ posts on this little blog, I’ve decided to finally leave this and get a new website for myself. Something that runs at its own. Something that I have complete control over.
No templates, no predefined borders, no ads, no branding, just something that I completely own and run. So that was it, after getting my second novel into the market and in the chase to start everything anew, all past grudges and mistakes forgotten, I got a new website for myself.
For starters, it looks insane, and I’m not kidding. Go check it out yourselves at sunainbanga.com, for the first time I’m happy with myself. For the first time, in like forever, I’ve invested into something worth it, and something that I would love to have today and will never use it again in the future.
So, yes, Bye Bye WordPress, I would still be blogging, I would still be writing, my blogs will still be here, my website will still be here, but yes, I’m leaving.
Don’t forget to bookmark me! Or rather just follow me on any social media, I write and update daily!
My phone rings all day long! Literally all day long. My phone battery earlier used to last at least 3 days without going through a full charge. Then I would charge it up and used it at ease. But now, my phone is ringing all the time! A few years back, when I saw people’s phone ringing all the time, it felt like a dream.
Getting Facebook notifications all the time, getting Instagram notifications, WhatsApp messages and even emails excited me back then, but right now when I have it, it sucks! I thought it would make you feel important and make you look busy and cool, but it doesn’t. It only drenches you of your energy and the will to stand another day.
Now, that I’ve signed up for so many things at once, and have a few email IDs, there are emails incoming every 15-30 minutes, my Instagram and Facebook have gone nuts over the past few days and I had to mute a few dozen groups on WhatsApp just to remain sane.
And even though it feels weird and tiring, it feels good too. It does make you look busy and important, even though deep inside you know, you are not.
Meanwhile, my WordPress is also booming! Thanks to you guys! Of all the things that have grown over the past few days, I’m most excited about the growth of this little website, gaining a few followers every week and more people joining in. Sadly, I will be shutting the web off soon.
I won’t stop blogging, I won’t stop writing, I would just be shifting. So, stay in touch. I’ll update! Peace!
When I was a kid, I used to lie to my parents so I would get a few extra hours with my friends, and my parents wanted me to stay at home and focus on myself, rather than spending time somewhere.
A few years down, I started lying to my friends so that I could stay at home and do something I want to do and not something everyone else wants to do. My parents wanted me to go out. I started cutting out people, kept only the very special ones close.
Another few years down the line, when the close ones left, there was no one around to invite me somewhere, and I wanted attention, so I started calling everyone in, and then when they started to call me, I started lying again, to stay at home.
Another year or two later, I started saying no directly instead of lying to my friends. And right now, I don’t even care. Someone calls me, I won’t go, someone doesn’t call me, I don’t care.
Is this actually how you grow up? Stop caring and start doing what is important?
My mom used to tell me you have to take everyone with you. By the time you are old enough, you will have a very big group and you’ll have the responsibility to keep everyone happy. Everyone you know, you need to keep your bonds with them and maintaining the bonds needs effort.
Well, I don’t have a group, and I don’t care. So, is this actually how you grow up. You stop caring, you stop being with people and love your own company? You are happier when you are alone? And don’t need someone to be around you any.
Times died, where you had this craving for someone to be in your life, someone to care about you, someone you can share everything with. Now you are happy the way you are and life is a lot better than it was when people were around?
Is this how you grow up? Or did I do something wrong?
I visited a Business School lately, and it just reminded me of a factory. An overpriced factory, producing similar products no difference, just different barcodes, different flavors and running down the assembly line.
Everyone looked exactly the same. Everyone wore a suit and a crisp white shirt inside it, shiny shoes, gelled hair and cotton ties. For a minute, it was hard to digest what was happening around me. It felt like it was not a part of the world but some different race altogether.
Everyone stood in a queue, with one-hand-gap from the person in from of them, and were headed somewhere I couldn’t see, the line was too long and where they were headed was way too far.
I believe they were running down their assembly lines. It seemed weird. Like the faces were the barcodes, the specializations were the flavors and there was nothing special about anyone. They all seemed the same, no difference, no uniqueness.
So, I asked one of them, where were they head. He didn’t know. So I asked the one in front of him, and the girl behind him, neither of them knew, where they were headed. They just stood in the queue, without asking anything to anyone.
They did what everyone else was.
Have you ever had numbers as a motivation to do something? Be it a high score in a video game, high marks in an exam, a big sum of money, or having more followers and big fan base? Have you done something that involved getting a big number?
You might have, we all do. But it is weird the way numbers take over take over the way we want to work in our lives. Math is something, a lot of us have developed a hatred towards, and still, numbers seem to be running our lives.
All of us are motivated to do things that will make the numbers grow. A little something that controls the way all of us act, something that seems to be engraved in us, something that makes us run the way we do.
But should numbers really be the reason we work? Are they really a goal for you and me in the long run? Or are they just something keeping us away from what we actually want to do? Long streaks on Snapchat but no ambitions in life, long list of novels read, and yet no trips to place outside the fantasy world, long number of people you have befriended, and yet no one, you love with everything in you.
Chasing the numbers gives your life a temporary purpose and it lasts as long as you don’t get bored with it or don’t give up or don’t get that. But sometimes, smaller numbers look better the way they are because at times, there is something way more important than the magnitude of a number.
There is a life that you have to live and that is way more important than making a number look big.
It has been 2 years, 8 months, and 11 minutes of dating this superhot, super-cute and super-excited girl who never missed a chance to surprise me. It has been a long time, yet it feels like weeks. We made a million memories, but everything for me starts and ends at her almond-brown eyes that say so much more than words ever could. They glisten under the moon and sparkle under the sun, they are deep when she’s low and deeper when she’s jolly and indescribable when she looks back at mine. Her lips, the perfect shade of pink. Her hair, brunette. Her hands, so soft that even silk might get jealous and when she smiles the whole world stops, and all of them stare for a while. Oh yes, the best part, she is mine. The first time I saw her I never thought she was going to be so important to me. I never had the slightest tinge of feeling for her back then, and now, all I know about love is one word, one name — Ananya. ‘We’ — the perfect couple… well everyone said so.
National and International book launch on 21st Feb!
People don’t look around when they cross the roads!
So, most of you, you have been following me from a very long time, might probably know how passionate I’m about bike riding and my dream trip is being on the highest motorable road in the world on a complete bike trip from my home to there.
I have the gear, the baggage, the carrier ready, all I need is a motorbike that would be able to stand the trip and the condition there. I even have the roadmap ready to get there and the stoppages planned.
Anyways, so, I was cursing through traffic on a thin two-lane road, when this guy comes out of nowhere and walks across the road, without checking the street. I pull onto my breaks, there was some sand on the road and I slipped. Fortunately, he heard me honking and ran out of the way, I slid across for about 5-10 meters before stopping and my bike slipped another 10 before it stopped.
It was okay so far, but the audacity on this guy, he comes down to yell at me, for being irresponsible and fast, while I was 15kmph below the speed limit and there was no zebra crossing there. Well, the locals did help me and made him shut up and was yelled at.
So, yes, I have bandages now, on both my hands while I’m typing this out. My jeans tore out but no leg injuries and I’m just glad that I have no other wounds or severe injuries. Only the tetanus shot hurts. 🙁
About, Beastie, my bike, she’s okay. Just a little torn out rubber on the handlebar. I’m just glad the frame sliders worked fine and there are no scratches on the body or dents in the fiber. She’ll get better, with some new rubber grips when I ride again, which probably should be tomorrow.
So, I’ll let you know about the ride tomorrow, see you then!
P.S. Always wear your gear, just the helmet is not enough. I was, and I’m typing this right now.