A lot of us at time feel alone, left out and not being worth someone who we would love to have around us. And in an attempt to get someone, we often tend to fall for desperate moves.
The problem is, that we think being around someone one of influence, or someone we look upto is the key to be better in life. Or maybe getting close to someone we admire or adore, might let us have that extra motivation we need to do a lot better.
This is turning out to be a problem for all of us. While social media is also doing its part in backing our inferiority complexions.
However, the truth is, that you don’t actually need people to be happy or to do better in life. And you definitely don’t need those people who are the reason why you can’t smile through the day.
Those who want to be with you will be with you always, those who don’t are never going to be no matter what. It might be hard to let go of some people, but clinging onto someone only kills your chances to be with someone else.
Someone who might be able to add more value to your life, that what your lost love would ever do.
Someone across the continent, a few countries away from you, someone you know very well and talk to every day, do you know how they are right now? Maybe, maybe not. But have you ever felt something tingling whenever something wrong happens to them?
Have you ever felt something really strange that makes you feel uneasy and you are not quite sure what it is about? You don’t know what it is that is making you feel so, or what is it that you are so worried about even though you cannot see anything to be worried about.
That strange feeling when you don’t know exactly what happened but you know something went terribly wrong. And a few hours later when everything calms down, you get a call from the person miles away from you, telling you what happened to them through the day and that’s when you realize what went wrong.
Or have you received a call from someone right before you are about to make an important decision or when you are in a problem? And they tell you over the phone that they were thinking about you and called you to check up on you. Then you tell them what is happening around you and they advice you against the decision you were going to make?
These are the connection. Real life connection that actually still work. Even with the boundless connectivity of the cellphone and the social media keeping us close and distracted, the oldest way of communicating still seems to work.
The only problem now is that it is not as common as cellphone and it couldn’t be bought in minutes, it takes years to develop a connection that rings across continents.
You don’t know what I’m going through, so don’t say that you understand and don’t pretend that you have been through something similar.
It is said that only a man with the same boots can understand why the other man is wearing them. Only a man who has been through pain understands what someone else is going through.
And when you lost your loved one to something very unfortunate, maybe you can sit with someone who lost their pet. When you break up with someone you loved with all your heart, maybe sit with someone whose family member went missing or someone who just got divorced. Maybe you can complement each other. You two might sit together and even though you cannot cheer up the other, you might be able to understand what it is like to be in their shoes.
You might not be able to tell someone what to do next, how can they get out of there, but just maybe be a listener and understand their condition. And sometimes, all someone needs is someone to understand their problem and realize what is going on in their heads with each passing second.
Sometimes, the way to get over some problem is not the solution, it is not the shoulder you cry on, but just sitting with someone who understands you.
You did something amazing and people love the idea of what you have done and you are being highly appreciated. You think people would love to read about it, people will love to watch it, people will love to talk to you about it, get to know you better and then you prepare things that could get you there.
And people are excited about what you are doing, it seems like there has been nothing like this before, everyone is in love with the thought of it, but then something happens at the very last moment.
Everything you have done, everything you built so far, all goes waste, only because of something you thought would never happen.
You had a sense that something could go terribly wrong, and you had confirmed that what went wrong, would actually never happen but it still went wrong. And you are not at fault, the people are not at fault because they still love you! The problem was with the guy who said he would sort out everything for you and still under his watch, everything went wrong in his side.
He took the money from you, he charged you well in advance, and right now he hardly cares what really happens with you and your audience. He just went home and is now relaxing or rather trying to get someone else like you for his next bait.
At times, you might fall into the same or a similar situation, and I know for a fact how frustrating it could be for you. But instead of getting upset, and instead of getting frustrated, you know better than me that it is not the time to give up or mourn over it. It is time to come up with something new. Something that could change what happened and break all your old records and give your audience what they want.
I stood outside the door just to see her face for one last time before I leave the city. It had been a few years since I last met her. The last time I remember seeing her, was when she kissed me goodbye, before leaving.
She never returned. She never came back. I saw her running downstairs and that was it, we were done, just like that. Years of relationship, thousands of promises, millions of memories over, with a snap. She didn’t even look back at me once, just ran downstairs.
I knocked again and looked at my shoes, they had a little dirt on them. I lifted my pants up and rubbed the shoes against the socks until they were shining. The last time I remember, we were happy, I kept busy but we were happy. We were in the tightest embrace ever, when she broke down and said she can’t be with me anymore. It came out of nowhere. She just said it.
I guess she isn’t home. But she always is at this time. And there’s a Manchester United match today, she wouldn’t miss it for the world. Recline on her couch, have a bowl of chocolate ice cream and some Doritos by her side while she watches through it. I never understood how and where she got Doritos, they weren’t very common around.
I guess people change preferences, she might not be in love with football anymore. She got over it, maybe? Just like she got over me. I just stood there, in hopes, she would come home soon or open up.
I didn’t expect him to come, but I wished he would come to say goodbye. I wish he had knocked a few years earlier when I just waited for him to come and get me.
It was hard for me too when we broke up, I just wanted to be with him, but I knew if I would look back, I won’t be able to control myself, so I just ran. I cried, I hope he did too. We promised “forevers” and we didn’t have any “nows”.
I got up from the couch and straightened myself up, I check myself in the mirror, I think I looked just fine or rather just he wouldn’t mind me looking shabby. He was no longer himself when I last met him. He was always too busy to even talk to me. He hugged me whenever I met him, but I never felt the warmth in them, it just felt like a duty he had to fulfill.
I kept down the bag of Doritos and the ice cream bowl that I was still holding in front of the mirror, and turned down the volume of the TV set. He came at the same time he always did, he knew I would be home? Or just guessed it? I guess he still follows football after years of me forcing him into it and knew it would watch it?
I was about to unlock the door, but I didn’t. I’ve seen him walk away once, not again. I wish I could get over him, just like he got over me. I just wish he would knock again, or rather just barge in, I’m waiting.
I have stayed away from you,
Just in hopes to get closer,
I have loved and pampered you,
You were my picture and the poser,
But, you blocked me out and walked away,
I just wanted a “closure”.
You walked out never to turn back,
But you kissed me on your way out,
I tried to talk to you,
But you were just shutout,
I thought you would come back,
We would last, I had no doubt.
For the first time, I was wrong about us,
But, well, there was no longer an ‘us”
I shouted, I grunted,
I cried and I cursed,
And then we did meet, and all you said,
“Why are you creating a fuss?”
The distances were to make us strong,
The distances you said were ours,
We made them, to fight the world,
And we would fight even the stars,
You said we controlled them,
But I just waited for them to end for hours.
I texted you and wanted to talk to you,
All you said, well nothing,
You never replied, you never did,
Instead kept cutting,
You told me to not text you,
Unless you do something.
It was hard on me,
It was hard on you,
And trust me,
And I want you back, and I am stronger now,
I’d battle anything now for you.
For someone, it might be an overnight thing and for others, it takes a lifetime to get close to becoming famous.
There are no rights or wrong when it comes to making an impact. It could happen overnight and it might take a few years to make a dent. There is no hard and fast rule about it, and sometimes not having rules, is the best thing.
And even though there is no mantra about it, it always boils down to the amount of time and effort you are ready to put in. Some put in no effort and get what they want, while many don’t make it that far without effort. And though you make a dent without any effort, it takes effort to push further up and maintaining the dent of the resilient world.
There are going to be many opportunities to grab and many to dodge. You need to take that one opportunity and grind it until you have made the most of it. And then brag about how you did something no one else could.
It might show up today, tomorrow, a week later or might be a few years down. The objective is to never give up on the dreams and keep on grinding. It might be too frustrating to keep doing something without getting anything back, and at some point, it might get the better of you, but that is the test, to never give up.
The image we see on the internet, of a man digging for gold and stop digging a few inches away? Well, that’s all of us right now.
Keep digging, keep pushing, you’ll hit the GOLD.
Some days you think you should have gone to bed a lot sooner, but the long day just takes a toll on your mind and soul.
You are tired, you need sleep, but you know there’s a lot more to do through the day, even though your day has already been too long. I had such a day today, and I was seriously going to drop dead on my bed when the blog brought me out of my bed and made me write this.
So I’m writing this while being half a sleep so bear with me.
On other news, my book is hitting the best sellers list on Amazon. Hard.
The old you, the ‘you’ a few months or might be a few years ago.
The ‘you’ when you went out in the open, or probably just stayed home all the time. When there was no pressure on you, when there was no responsibility to shoulder, when there was nothing to worry about, when you were not broken. When you made memories with people and fell in love with them. When they were the old ‘them’.
And then some things changed, you got separated from them and it has been a very long time that you haven’t met them. It has been a very long time that you haven’t been in touch, you haven’t talked to them, you haven’t seen their face.
It has been month and years since then and you were not able to replace them with someone else. You weren’t able to find someone who can fill up their spot. And you are just in love with your old friend, your old partner.
Have you ever realised why you couldn’t find someone like them? Because you aren’t the same too. And probably you even found someone who was like them a few years back, and now too is just like them, the “new them”. And because you haven’t seen the new you don’t realize it’s the same.
Eventually, you might meet your old friend, your old lover, with a new soul and this time you might not fall in love with them. They have changed, just like you.
Sometimes, the memories of a person are better than the person. And sometimes, the person, might kill the memories for you, they might just ruin them for you. For sometimes, the person isn’t holding you back, it is the memories.
And sometimes, more than the person, you are in love with the memories.
You know something all writers fear? Blank screens.
Looking at a white screen for hours and not making a single black dot on it. Or looking at the white paper and not making a single scratch on it. What haunts writers the most, are writer blocks or running out of ideas to write on.
Staring at the screens endlessly, waiting for them to fill themselves up somehow, magically. Waiting for magic to happen and your fingers start doing something again. Then finally, giving up and surfing the internet and watching cat videos.
Or scrolling through the Instagram posts to find some motivation and then end up watching cat videos again. Giving up on that too and going down for a walk, thinking you need some “fresh air”. You walk around lost in your own thought. Wandering on the streets and forgetting who and what you are and just sauntering until you are lost, in your thoughts and on the streets.
But finally you know what you are going to write next, and that is it, you have cracked it. So you start walking back home. Home? Where is it? Where are you?
You panic, look around, ask people where you are and then finally opening the maps only to realise you are way to far and end up taking a cab back home. But in all of this, you forget what you were thinking about, what you were going to write about.
You did not have a pen to note it down and you were dumb enough to not note it on your cellphone.
Now you are at home, the screen is still blank and you are on your chair, still staring at it.
Give yourself a pat on the back. You have successfully updated a blank screen to a blank screen.