Stand by a cliff, look down, jump.
A new life, a new beginning, a new start. Or maybe, just walk away from the cliff, and pretend that your old life jumped off. The old you died today, it is time to let go of the grudges, it is time to let the pain settle, it is time to make friends, again.
The only thing that remains is the experience, skill, and degrees. Nothing else. It is time to let go of the battles and quarrels of the past and hug the person again. It is time to let go of the failures and see the goal again. It is time to run the road.
It might not be as easy as it sounds and it might not be the best thing you’ve decided to do all along, but it might be the best for you right now. Sometimes, more than the reason behind doing something isn’t as important as the purpose.
And now that you are running again, this time, remember, money isn’t everything. Success is not earning billions and hating your life so much that it takes you to the cliff, it is about being able to pay the bills and doing what you love to do. Earning less is fine, loving less isn’t.
Don’t torture yourself, instead, love you.
We meet a lot of people in life. Some by chance, some by fate, and some you meet but you don’t interact with them. You just saw them passing by, or doing something around you. You still met them, from the corner of your eye, or you were just supposed to see them, because something is going to happen next.
You’ve met them and you didn’t even notice them but they did and then they somehow turn up, bringing a very twisted turn in your life.
They just look at you all weirdly when you don’t recognize them. They just stare at you like it is a crime that you don’t recognize them, and they hold a grudge on you for that.
You try to remember what set them off so bad only to realize that you can’t remember anything. You’ve just “met” them, there is nothing you can do about it. It sounds like a prejudice towards you.
And sometimes they, they give you a hint or sometimes you have a hint that you’ve seen them before, but you don’t know when and where and you cannot think of a reason why you set off somebody so badly.
You’ve seen them before, but not sure when and where.
At times, all of us have been just to logy about the things we need to do. We delay it to the next day, and then to the next, and then to the day after it.
We have been logy about the our responsibilities and just keep on procrastinating them. We blame it on a long day to make us sluggish. We blame it on everything else but on ourselves.
Like I have been with this blog. Ending it here, on the 100 word mark. I’m not logy, I am just tired from the long day.
I had my submissions, exams and traveled for about 2 hours, okay? Better blog tomorrow.
No I’m not Logy!
You’ve loved someone with all your heart, and you are ready to give up everything for them, and it is not just your thought, your actions show the same thing as well.
They take the first step and call you when they need you the most, like always, because you are the only one who would hear them out, always, like an idiot. Forgetting everything from the past, you just go to help them out. You think this will mark a new start but the old them returns and you don’t exist anymore after that day.
You call them, and you ask a favor, not even a favor, but say you just ask for a phone number that they already have. They say they will try, and then weeks and months pass by but you never hear from them ever again. You call again but to the same result. And then you call again, and this time even before you can tell them anything, they just disconnect saying they are busy.
Everyone told you it’s not worth your time, everyone told you that you are better off without them, but you just thought you could rekindle a lost friendship if nothing else.
You have grown over the years, you have developed over the months and you have so much more than you ever had when you growth was being staggered when you were around them. You are making progress in your career, at your personal front and you are hitting your goals. But recently, you’ve started staggering again.
The good old, use and throw, or just play around with the prey starts hitting your mind again. It may not be the case, this time around, you might be just overacting. This time around the problem might actually be real, and they tried even. And maybe it’s all in your head, or maybe defending them is all in your head.
The past always kicks in. Fool me once, fool me twice, not thrice? Or are you making a fool out of yourself this time?
What do you do, when you thought your life is running on a highway and there was an opportunity to put the 6th gear, but your 6th gear was your reverse? And what do you do when the past hits you again?
Well, maybe just sit down and let it flow? Or maybe, push it again until you break again? Or maybe you are just an overreacting kid, not giving enough room to people to be human? Or maybe that kid died years ago and it’s the mind that speaks the truth? Or maybe it is time to let go.
Have you ever been so caught up in things around you that you don’t even have time for your own self? You are just sitting in the spot every day, thinking today would be different. Today you would have some time for yourself and you’ll make the change that you wanted from a very long time.
But as the day proceeds you are just sitting there, being all tied up in your everyday grinding. You don’t have time for what you thought you would do today, but today, you don’t have time for something you do every other day. Suppose you take a five-minute tea break every day but today you can’t do that either.
Your personal activities are being cut down one by one and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it?
Well, that is something that happened to me over the past week. A lot has changed in a week and I actually don’t have the time to write an article out.
And that’s why I’ve been off, again. I know that is bad but trust me there is hardly anything I can do about it. I’ve been caught up into something. Well, a lot of things. A lot has happened in the past week and I will update it don’t worry but right now, I’m just tied up.
One day, I’ll pack up my bags and be gone. When you come to see me in my room, I would not be there. My stuff would not be there, my signs of existence would not be there, I would not be there.
I would be gone, gone far beyond the places where you could reach, far beyond your reach so that you could not find me. The number of times I have seen the airport and the railways I should have been gone by now. But, the idea of seeing you one more time before I leave holds me back. I should be gone, but the idea of never seeing you again holds me back.
I do stay, but only to see you once again. Then, I ask you to come along and you only laugh at how stupid it would be to leave everything behind, and then you laugh, again, and I want to go and leave you back, again.
I would be gone someday, someday really soon, but I still think that one day you’ll see what I actually plan for us. But if you cannot be with me, when I make our castle, I would rather not have you in the castle. I would tell my guards to never let you even look at the marvel.
I can do so much more, but not in this place, where I am suffocating and I cannot do anything without telling everyone what I plan to do. I can do so much more if I’m not constantly under surveillance where you come and check if I’m even productive or not. I can do so much more, if I am not here.
One day, I’ll be gone. Backpacking all over the world, or just staying somewhere, where it feels like home. One day, I’ll be gone, when I’ll be done. One day, I’ll be gone. Never to return, never to be seen.
I want to be a singer, and I want to dance while I sing. I want to live life like a King being at the top, and I want to start without anything, right from the bottom.
I want to write about myself, and I want to write about you, I want to write about the people I meet, and I want to write about the people who I might never meet. I want to feel every emotion a story shares, I want to be heartless when I write my own.
I want to know the story behind everyone, I want to know the story no one shares. I want to write stories that have already spoken out, I want to write stories that are confined to the hearts. I want to write stories that will change lives on the face of the earth, I want to write stories that just entertain people.
I want to explore the world and the worlds of the universe, I want to sit at home and make it my own universe.
I want to be a wolf, I want to be a cat, I want to be a tiger, I want to be a rat.
I want to be on a hill, I want to relax by the beach, I want to dig the soil, and go where even I can’t reach.
I want to be discovered, renowned and be famous, I want to nameless, unknown, anonymous. I want to sign autographs whenever I set my foot out, I want to just relax, put in my earphones and look at the sun go down.
I want to be me, I want to be you, I want to be him, I want to be that. I want to be everything at once.
Mark a milestone and chase for it. While some don’t work with milestones, many have milestones set even for the most minuscule of our targets.
Reading a book, writing an article, watching a TV series and even buying grocery and many small things like these are milestones. Needless to mention business ventures, starting up a firm, writing a novel, completing a degree, learning a language and many more.
All these milestones that we set for ourselves are things we want to do, in a certain time period and we mark dates on them. To keep ourselves motivated we make these milestones.
With each target you make through, you feel more energetic and happy that you are now another step closer to what you want. Slowly you make through another milestone and then another and another.
And when it is finally done, you are happy and overjoyed and that is the best feeling ever. Especially, if it was a tough thing to do then your happiness sees no bounds, but what after that?
What do you do after you are done with it? You have got what you wanted, what seemed to be the purpose of your life from many many months, now that you have it, what next? While your whole life roamed around a thing for a few months and sometimes even years and decades, and it took up a major portion of your life. Now that you have it, what it next?
When it is all over? When there is nothing left?
Why are all of us always uptight? Wearing crisp clean shirts, full pants or knee-length skirts with high heel shoes.
Why are we always trying to look presentable, what is wrong with being who you really are? What is up with sounding professional more than sounding like a friend.
Why do we run from situations that look a little adverse? Why can’t we just stay and tell the people around us that we are battling with something and we would prefer our privacy instead of saying that you are fine? Or why not just tell them exactly what you are feeling right now?
Why do we run away from conversation but never run away from fights? We would quarrel and yell at the one in front of us, but we would never sit calmly and talk our problems through?
Why do we react when it is already a bit too late to be reacting? Why do we react when it is actually time to let go? Why?
Can’t we just stay put, put our guards down and be more open, instead of trying to maintain the high we created for our own selves?
Can you love twice?
Let’s take something that is the story of the day. Everyone has the same story, falling and falling out of relationships all year long, falling in and out of love.
You were in love with someone long long ago, and you were together for years before you fell out of that relationship. It was immature, you both were open to each other and did what you wanted to do. It was childish but it was fun while it lasted. You had no pretenses and there were no social media likes on your relationships, but people talked about your relationship. Both of you boosted the other. Your love made people jealous.
You loved them with all you have in you, and they loved you with all they have in them, but you had different ways of love and that made you split. A few months after you just fell out of a relationship with them, you got in another relationship.
You loved your new relationship. It offered a lot more, it was mature and an understanding relationship, where both of you cared for each other, or just that the other one showed they cared and you never understood the pretenses, you expected it to unconditional like the one before. You were in love, again? Your life started revolving around that new someone and you forgot about all your dreams. You stopped chasing everything and just chased that new someone.
And when the spark of the new relationship died out for them, they fell out while you were still discovering. You were still loving the spark while it had died out for them months ago.
So, did you actually fall in love again? No, you didn’t. You were just loving the high. Did you actually fall in love the first time? Maybe, no one knows except you.
It happens to the best of us. But at the end, it all boils down to whether your tried or not. Whether you went on and fought for your love, or you just sat there waiting, until it was too late. When you realize, what love actually was, is or will be for you, and if you think you have found the one then fight for it, before it is too late and you see it slipping again. Slipping away into them thinking they have found “true love” in worldly attraction.
Love might not be easy to define, you might not have reasons to love, but it is easy to identify.
Love doesn’t scar, it heals. Love doesn’t ask, it gives. Love is not one-sided, it is shared. Love doesn’t run, it waits. Love doesn’t expire with months, spark does. Love doesn’t age, relationships do. Love doesn’t have reasons, deals do. Love is not jealous or possessive, bonds are. And love doesn’t lose, lusts and attractions do.
Love wins, always.