Another one from the old book. This was one of my first poems and I don’t even remember when I wrote it. Probably on a page in school lecture 6 years ago or on a message thread while returning from classes, there were no memos back then. Anyways, it is out, please don’t laugh. Please.
I was too busy gazing the stars for they looked bizarrely bright,
Collecting the stones, I dropped the diamond, the soul of the night,
I used to see the moon, when I knew counting till one,
I learned and I began to count and forgot my dear someone.
I was dumb, to not realize it soon,
Counting the stars, fading was my moon,
Making relations with those who were said to be the far ones
I lost those who were dearest to me, once.
I ignored my moon, it said goodbye and disappeared,
With the light of the night, I lost everything I feared.
It was too late, to realize my heart beats for you,
I want you back, find you, but have nothing, no clue.
Even though it hurts, I will be the first,
The one, who will raise the curse,
Eyes teary, and sky starry,
I’m sorry.
I’ve been away for a while, well, quite a while. Away from everything, social media, web, my blog; people. I’ve been away, at home, sitting in this chair, staring at this white screen, enjoying my isolation, my solitude.
I’ve been away thinking. Thinking about all the things I never saw, thinking of the things I’ll never see. Thinking that I’ve been lucky to be here, thinking if I’ve been unlucky to be here. Thinking if all of this was meant to be the way it is, thinking if this is what I created up from the scratch.
I’ve been away wandering the woods, not the materialistic woods, the ones that we create around ourselves to hide from the unknown outside them, and get lost in the unknown within them. I’ve been wandering on foot, on wheels, and on wings, in virtual military bases, cities, beaches and seas.
I’ve been away rebuilding, myself, again from pieces. Trying to regain what I lost, weight, muscle, and broken bones? The heart, the memories, the people, the comrades that I’ve lost. It is like they are still here, I feel them, I see them, but the bridges across are broken.
It is hard to understand and put it apart from real, it is hard to believe that it is true. Ever since I’ve been away, I have heard people talking, about me, about my decisions and my choices. I’ve heard people appreciate at a distance, I’ve heard people disapprove at my face. I’ve heard people wanting to hear from me, I’ve heard people being glad that I’m gone.
I’ve been away choosing, to start all over. I’ve been away choosing to take this further. It’s now, or never. It was pushing to the limit or falling back and reclining on this unbalanced chair. Fear of running to fast into the oblivion or toppling off head first. It’s death, either way, then why shouldn’t I give it a shot? It’s now.
“You don’t get another chance, life is no Nintendo game.”
– Eminem (Love the Way You Lie, 2010)
I don’t know how many times I’ve quoted this, but here it goes again,
“We must never give up the fight,
The moment we do, we have lost.”
– Ezio Auditore da Firenze
This by no means, goes with the title, but I haven’t really heard any quote that tells you to give up.
I’ve seen people struggling for things even years after they have lost it for good and then there are people giving up all hope when everything seems fixable in their case. I’ve seen people move on really quick, saying you cannot force someone to love you and then there are people who say, they still love me, even after years their “lovers” have gone into another relationship
There’s nothing like giving up and there is nothing like making a difference in life. It feels so odd to see people sitting on their bottoms for the entire day, looking and the ceiling and smoking triangles saying their life has no purpose. At the same time, there are people hustling all day long saying the universe has a purpose for them.
The universe is 13.7 billion years old for God’s sake, the entropy is boundless, and mathematically, the universe is not going to look at petty issues like giving your life a purpose, find your own! So as I said, there’s nothing like giving up and there is nothing like making a difference in life.
People who are meant to be will be and those who are not, won’t be, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Have you played Sims? A gay man could have an affair with all the women in town. How does that make any sense? It’s a LIFE SIMULATION! It’s all entropy.
There’s a difference between giving up and letting go. You give up because it all seems too hard to get, you feel you are lower than that level and you won’t ever get there, there’s no point in all this, and there’s something known as “I’ve had enough of this”, and that’s letting go.
I don’t believe anyone really gives up if you do I hope you have something more important to look forward to, and in other cases, I don’t think you should and there’s nothing like having enough if you really want something. So keep trying?
It all boils down to the thirst of something, that makes us do whatever we want and whatever we choose, we are the architects of our own actions and we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic.
Why did I type this out?
What if you die early? Maybe in your twenties and a peaceful living is not exactly your thing. Are you going to get bored in heaven?
Heaven is a very peaceful place, or everyone says so. With what I know about it, there are beautiful looking souls that don’t have a gender. Genders only exist on the surface of our planet. So, there are just souls flying around. So, there’s going to be nothing like the “work to get laid” thing there. So, no one is going to work.
So basically, there are no challenges in heaven. But what are you going to do without challenges? For me, if there is no challenge there is no result. Winning a game, writing a blog, waking up at 6 in the morning, staying up till 6 in the morning, passing an exam, earning even pennies, everything is a challenge.
Moreover, if there is nothing controlling my mind, if there is no need to become an alpha male because no one could be better than anyone else, why would I even pursue something? Heck, why would I do anything? And if I’m not going to struggle with these every day what am I even supposed to do?
All you need to do through the day is fly around with wings that are practically too small to carry your weight. That’s against the laws of aviation, but you’ll fly anyway because the heaven doesn’t care what the humans think.
Also, there is this constantly playing melody. A tune that plays on loop over and over and over again. Won’t it be irritating? There’s no night in heaven and neither does anyone sleep, that does save moms from yelling at their children for being up so late, but c’mon!
So, is there something like a transfer? To hell maybe? The constant fighting with devils and threats of being fried in oil pan sound more interesting to me. Believe me, I’m a gamer, I’m more prepared “devil-apocalypse” than being tortured by melodious music.
Wait a minute, I will have an internet connection there, right?
To be continued.
I wish he would start walking soon. I hope he says his first words soon. This time I want straight “A”s on your report card. Look at him, he scored a 98/100 in maths. Look at him she got a full scholarship from the school. He’s so good at football, you should try some sports too.
Her handwriting is amazing, try learning from her. He writes so well, you should have learned a little more vocabulary too. I like his music, do you know how to run any music making software? Could you run a mile without stopping? If you had muscles, you could have posed for ads.
I like the way he acts, you could learn from him and possibly even get a role in the play. Could you help me lift these boxes? Could you teach me this? Are you a gamer? Do you read? Are you a vegan or not? You are a geek. Do you party? Do you drink? Chicken or pork? You are not my type.
Do you know how to play tennis? Have you played the organ? So, you work as a waiter? You are a CEO, do you have time for yourself? Do you know how to drive? You have a Lamborghini, would you let me ride it?
You wear suits in summer? Why would anyone wear Pajamas to college? Her shoes don’t match her dress. His hair is so messy. He is always on his phone. She doesn’t know how to properly use a smartphone. Her clothes are too short. I cannot even see her hands in those.
Enough!
Yes, I want those “A”s so I can pose for ads and I need that full scholarship because I don’t have a Lamborghini. I hate tennis and I don’t care if I’m a nerd or geek! I’m going to wear underpants to college for all I care. I’m not going to do what I want to and I’m going to drop out to become a YouTuber. And I don’t care if I cannot afford fuel for that rented Lamborghini!
What the world wants?
It wants you to be everything, all at once. You are a cricketer, a celebrity, a business tycoon and the world still want you to write a book on your life. If you have done that already it wants you to meet them. It wants you to come live on Facebook, YouTube, and Instagram to listen to them swear at you. If you do that already, then why don’t you support feminism? If you do, then why do you do that?
What we want?
Is the world to shut up!
Have you ever missed something, but you don’t know what it is?
Have you ever found something, but you don’t know what it is?
In play of the chambers of the human heart,
There you stand gorgeous, the dagger to my heart.
.
Today again, I stand alone, in the desert of the hearts,
Searching its ends and the starts,
I’m waiting for the end to come,
Still standing, have hope; some.
.
Hope that you’ll come back to me,
As in every grain of sand, you I see,
I’m happy outside, but from within I cry,
Like water in this desert, for you, I die.
.
Don’t know where this begins; don’t know where it ends,
But I’m happy and I’ll wait for you, my heart pretends
Where you’ve gone, disappeared so far, somewhere apart,
Still within me, in one of the several chambers of my heart.
.
Come back, and complete me,
Just one glace of you can set my soul free,
You don’t know, how much do you matter to me,
If you aren’t, then how could I be?
.
It’s just the body, and the heart inside is a mole,
It kills me somehow, because you are its soul,
It is difficult to breathe, here without you,
I can’t and just can’t live without you.
.
Come back to me,
And please complete our ‘we’,
As it’s me and only me who stands,
In this, lonely maze of sands.
Hey everyone! This is a poem I wrote about 7 years ago when I first started writing.
I still clearly remember writing this in the Science lecture! (I was caught and scolded upon) Hope you like it and if you did please click on the star below, it would tell me if I should post more stories from the past or not.
This is an experiment for me, so please tell me what you think of it in the comments below. Or let me know if you like it! Follow if you haven’t already. I post new articles almost every day.
Ciao!
When Will failed to deliver what was expected of him, Hope came in town. She too failed the town and the town had now been suffering from famine. There was no food, there was no water and there were a lot of diseases lurking in the town. There was no hope left.
But then a passerby came in. They called him “Work”. After two fails by trusting in Will and Hope no one wanted to trust Work and no one did. No one believed that Work could actually do something for them. It was like they had accepted their fate, there was no turning back from the famine.
Work, however, ignore all of the words he heard, all he did was tried to improve the state of the town. He started sowing seeds, he started watering the field and hauling water to town all by himself. If he had Will and Hope by his side it would have made it easier for him, but they weren’t. In fact, if he had anyone by his side it would have made it a lot easier for him.
But he didn’t stop. He continued on his journey all by himself. He did not stop. He did not give up. All he did was kept moving forward. After a few weeks, there were seedlings in the fields and there was water for everyone in the well. People were amused by what they saw. No one expected something like this would ever happen. Last time they saw something like this was a few years ago.
But still, no one knew exactly what happened. So they looked around to get a hint of it and saw Work, plowing the rest of the fields. Everyone saw him from a distance. Standing tall in the middle of the field with ripped muscle and broad shoulder. He looked much stronger than Will and Hope combined. He also did much more than both of them and that’s there.
So, seeing his actions everyone joined Work on his venture. Now everyone from the town was with Work. Will and Hope too. There was soon some great progress made in the town. There seemed to be greenery in fields again and water in wells again. There was enough for everyone once again.
All the shops that had closed down opened again. All the people that were about to die of hunger and were going insane were back to normalcy. The town started behaving like it used to be. There was hustling in the town and calls in the fields. Farmers were shooing away crows and shopkeepers shooed away cats. It was back again.
Because, this time, there was Will who showed everyone the path. There was Hope who kept everyone motivated and there was Work who told everyone what to do. But the whole point of hiring these people was to improve the town, but it just got back to normal. So how will the town improve? …to be continued.
Kya kahun me unn jhoothe dilason se,
Jo roz mujhse yun tere liye khatt likhwate hai,
Kya kahun me unn azaad parindon se,
Jo roz woh khatt tere ghar le jaate hai,
Kya kahun me unn shabdon se,
Jo roz siyahi nahi ban na chahte hai,
Aur jab bante hai toh nahi rukte,
Meri kalam aur aakhein, yun baraste jaate hai.
Vishwaas kaise rakhun, ae khuda tera,
Tere darr aake mangta raha ek dua harr sawera,
Ki, “Waada kar, mere saath rahega pyaar mera,
Reh mere saath, na chodna mujhe akela,”
Khel gaya re tu, mere dar pe khoob,
Na samja, na jaana, mene tera mansoob,
Has raha hai mujhpe, yeh janta hun me,
Jo na mila sapno me, kaise dega naseeb mera.
Kya kahun me apne kadmon se,
Jo roz tere ghar tujhe milne yun aate hai,
Kya kahun me mere apne apno se,
Jo roz mujhe teri yaad dilate hai,
Kya kahun me apne sapno se,
Jo roz tere saath rehne ko sajj jaate hai,
Inke sajne me na jaane kya nasha hai,
Jo dard hone pe bhi roz naye aa jaate hai.
Vishwaas kaise rakhun, ae khuda tera,
Tere darr aake mangta raha ek dua harr sawera,
Ki, “Waada kar, mere saath rahega pyaar mera,
Reh mere saath, na chodna mujhe akela,
Khel gaya re tu, mere darr pe khoob,
Na samja, na jaana, mene tera mansoob,
Has raha hai mujhpe, yeh janta hun me,
Jo na mila sapne me, kaise dega naseeb mera
Kya kahun me uss masoom se,
Jo teri muskurahat dekh kar ruk jaata tha,
Kya kahun me uss kayar se,
Jo teri chott dekh darr jaata tha,
Kya kahun me uss bikhre-pann se,
Jo kuch bhi kar dhadak jaata tha,
Ab khaamosh sa kyun rehta hai tu?
Ae dil, kya tu bhi usse chahta tha?
Vishwaas kaise rakhun, ae khuda tera,
Tere darr aake mangta raha ek dua harr sawera,
Ki, “Waada kar, mere saath rahega pyaar mera,
Reh mere saath, na chodna mujhe akela,
Khel gaya re tu, mere darr pe khoob,
Na samja, na jaana, mene tera mansoob,
Has raha hai mujhpe, yeh janta hun me,
Jo na mila sapne me, kaise dega naseeb mera
Nahi hai koi gilla-shikwa, yeh me maan chuka hun,
Nahi hai tu naseeb mera, yeh me samjh chuka hun,
Pyaar karta hun ya nahi yeh me nahi janta,
Par Aaj bhi kasam teri, mujhe mere dost dete hai,
Nahi hun me pyaar tera, yeh me samjh chuka hun,
Nahi hai tu naseeb mera, yeh me samjh chuka hun,
Nahi smajha toh me sirf itna,
Kyun? kya? kaise? aur tu.
Appendix
Siyahi – ink
Darr – door
Dar – fear
c= 3 lac km/s
That’s, well, fast. And just like light, we all want to reach somewhere really fast. We don’t know where or why, all we do is run. In the race, it doesn’t even matter to where we are headed, all that matters is the speed. We run and run and end up in darkness. All the hard work done in running all those miles, wasted.
But sometimes, we know where we are headed and why we are running. So we try to run faster reach there faster and seek light. But all that we get is darkness. We believe we cannot run in the dark, so we stop. All this while, we had been trying to gain speed and now we have to stop.
We get so immersed in running a rat race that we forget the purpose. We forget why we even started it. I’ve seen painters, photographers, writers, dancers, music producers, actors running race they were forced to. Pursuing engineering, maths, science, finance, marketing and people they don’t want to become. I’ve seen talent that could run an entire entertainment industry sitting together over nights and trying to pass the exam that’s due tomorrow. I’ve seen bodybuilders and fitness models standing in front of people with their head hung low and their shoulders drooped because they did not do the technical assignment they were supposed to.
And then I’ve seen hopeless lovers dying everyday. I’ve seen them suffer deep down to their core knowing it will never be okay ever again. Knowing they have lost the loves of their lives and there’s no way they could fix it. They see their “soulmates” in arms of someone else and burn right from their stomach to heads.
There are a lot of situations in life where you could see nothing. There’s nothing ahead of you and the path you took so far seems to be wrong. There’s no going back and there’s nowhere to go forward. But then, all you should do is walk. Trust yourself blindly and walk.
I’ve seen celebrities dropping out of their education. I’ve seen tycoons dropping out of jobs people wish they have. I’ve see entrepreneurs rising up from scratch and leaving their mark. I’ve seen artist finally giving in and start living rather than just existing. And then I’ve seen hopeless lovers, working their souls off to make something of themselves. A few got back with their loves, for a few it was already too late. But, none of these people seems to regret.
When you ask them what they did, the one thing they say is that they never gave up. Everyone of these people have seen dark times. Times when they were disowned by their own people, times when they were broke, times when they broke and times they don’t want to recall. And so they say, one of the best things that could happen to a man is: a heartbreak, a lone trip and a defeat.
It might be hard on you now, it has been hard on you so far, seeing people younger than you become people you wanted to be and seeing those around you getting what they want. Everyone has a clock, their own clock and you win or lose according to it. Don’t rush and don’t be slow, just be impatient while keeping your calm. Success takes time, but it happens.
Life is not a cave, it’s a tunnel
It might be unfair at times,
And might look dark right now,
But keeping walking and there will be light.
Remember, life is not about sitting in front of computer the entire day, so you could afford to sit in front of one at night. It’s not about earning to pay bills. It’s about living they way you want to, making it want you want it to be and finding yourself.
Dance, draw, travel, act.
Laugh.
Live.
There is something each one of us has, something that is so simple and yet is the solution to most of the problems in the world. Just a look at someone, just an interaction with something, someplace where you find a home or might be just a memory of someday and it does the trick.
It could be that special someone you need to have coffee with in the morning or meet once in a day. Someone you need to walk around holding hands with or listen to. Or might be watching a movie together. Doesn’t matter if you have to stop it halfway through or you keep it on and no one’s watching it, all that matters is being together.
It could be something, a game, a song, a book, a picture or a smell. It could be just a powder you need to smell every day. The first thing you do in the morning is you open the box, let that smell in. Let it overwhelm you and let yourself surrender in it. Your box of happy smells. Letting those old memories resurface, the days when you used to be happy.
It could be a cafe for all you know. Someplace where you find your home. Someplace where you went with someone a few years ago. Where you first held hands and she first fought with you to pay the bill. Where you first came to know that neither of you has been to an expensive cafe before and don’t know what any of those mean. But still somehow, order “Caramel Macchiato with Soy Milk” at the same time and then shout “jinx” together too. So you jinxed jinx and then end up paying for each other’s coffee even though you both ordered the same. That’s basically splitting the bill.
It could be the memory of that early morning coffee with them, it could be a memory of smelling the box when you are away, and it could be the memory of the cafe. Either way, you are thinking about coffee. Have some now, let them come in, let yourself lose. As writers, we write from memories, no wonder they ask,
Are you even a writer,
If you don’t have coffee?
P.S. Just showing my love to coffee, not a coffee sponsored post.