This was my first title, I got it published a few years back.
Ever since then, at least one person has asked me every week what are you writing next. I always reply with I’m busy with studies, I’m writing a play, or a short film and not a novel, something they probably don’t want to hear.
But now, finally after years of wait, another title is coming up on this 21st. Stay connected with me on my social media, linked at the bottom for cellphone users and to the right for desktop users, for the latest updates.
A small post, an important update.
Have you ever felt empty-headed? You cannot think of anything. You are trying to recall something or thinking of a solution to something or trying to calculate something but your mind is just numb and cannot think?
You are not sleepy, you are not awake, there are no punctuations in your sentences, and at times there are no sentences. You just stare. You stare at blank walls thinking what is it and why is it so featureless, without understanding that it is a wall and it is meant to be featureless.
You’ve had your coffee and you are not supposed to have any more. The one you had a few minutes ago was your 12th cup of the day. If you have any more, which the doctor told you not to for obvious reasons, even if not one of the symptoms, you’ll get a cardiac arrest because of excessive caffeine.
But does it feel good?
You know, for once, you have your mind empty, you are not thinking of anything. Or does it feel weird because you are not used to having an empty mind? Constantly used to thinking something, thinking about something, making a new plan, and out of the blue having an empty mind?
Some just wish they could have this whenever they wish to have an empty mind. Some think of it as a weakness, a trait of the weak.
In the world of rat race, I think it is a blessing, and then looking at the King Rat, I know it is a curse.
Have you ever been so numb that there are no titles to your thoughts, you just fill up the title spot with a “Title”.
I finally got a clock!
I had been running without a clock in my room from the past three months and it felt so much better than having one. Now, I know it is not 10 at night, but nearly 3 in the morning and I’m very late to go to bed. This suck more when you realize you still have a task at hand.
Earlier, I used to do everything I was supposed to do, and then go to bed and then realize that, okay it’s five in the morning and I’m very very late for bed. But it was still better than this because I was not tired until I lay on the bed, but now I looked at the time and I’m tired.
Probably, I wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t seen the clock. Probably, it’s all in the head, there’s nothing like time. And maybe, the time has nothing to do with what you are going to do in a day.
Our time is measured in hours earth takes to rotate around itself and divided into an arbitrary number of hours and seconds. I believe the only reason we have time is because we humans need to measure everything.
How does an hour have anything to do with me when all it does is tell how much longer will it take for the earth to complete the rotation?
It is all in the head. Early to bed, early to rise, rise before the sun, be like the clock, everything is a lie. You have your own clock, you have your own time, you can change everything, just throw the clock away and start now. Don’t stop even if the sun sets, don’t stop even if the clocks tell you that you are, don’t stop until you are tired.
So, I have a table clock for sale, comment for inquiries.
“Punctuality is a virtue of the Bored” – Evelyn Waugh
“Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend.
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
– Groucho Marx
What is a man’s best friend? What is the first thing that comes to your mind?
A dog? Right?
It crosses all of our minds at least ones before we think of anything else. But is a dog actually a man’s best friend? Well, they have all the attributes of a best friend, but are you sure? Like a man’s best friend is a dog and not a cat? Not a hamster? Not another man? Or anything else?
Do you have a dog? Maybe, yes. Is it your best friend? Good.
Do you have a dog? Maybe, no. Then how do you know it’s man’s best friend?
Not everything we have learned over the years is true. Not everything we hear needs to be real. Where did you first hear, “A dog is a man’s best friend”? Probably from someone. And where did they hear it? From someone too, or maybe, just maybe in an article or a book or some other media.
Books have been taking mankind to trips of the worlds we never think could exist. We have been with wizards and dwarfs, we’ve had golems and giants, we’ve seen mazes and castles, and we’ve had curses and magic. Everything, every trip, every moment with another emotion.
I’m not saying they are your best friends or implying anything, but you have experienced all of this, everything just through little black dots on sheets of white.
I’m not promoting anything here by praising books, but just saying, something’s coming up, stay connected.
A little boy trying to make the entire world fall in love. Anyone shot by the Arrow will feel a very strong desire building up in them, uncontrollable. The Cupid – The Desire – The Amor – represented as a young boy with wings, a bow, and heart-head arrows, someone who made the plots work in the mythology.
Seen as the son of the Love Goddess – Venus – and the War God – Mars – the young man continues to spread love and make people fall in love, and express their deepest desires and bond into eternal love. Until he’s wounded by his own arrow, falling in love for Psyche.
Well, Cupid might not be there today but Cupidity still is. We are all shot by the arrow on the day we enter educational institutes and the lethal dosage of cupidity takes over us over the course of our education. Secretly filling up the desires in us.
Working our way up to the final years of education we fall prey to cupidity. A very strong desire for money fills up our entire life. Cupidity – Greed for money or possessions. We start earning, say in our early 20s, and we run after money until forced to rest, forever.
Cupid, might not be there today, but we have been shot by the arrows. We have made money are deepest darkest desire and run after it in the “cupidity”. But is it really worth it?
Didn’t the love die out eventually? Even after Cupid hit the shot? It might have been more successful if Cupid never interfered and love took its course. They met like they should, they build the courage to say it out and they had the strength to stand up against the world. Why Cupid? Why do we need to rush anything?
Yes, life is short, but it’s the longest thing you’ll ever do.
Something to think on, right? Well, enough about Cupid, I think it’s time for me to worship Hypnos.
Being a child was a lot easier. The only rejections I got were from the people denying me another chance at batting when I got out on a duck. Sometimes, if they were a few years older than me, they would agree, they would give me another chance to bat. But still, I believe you get what I mean.
Growing up has only increased the number of rejection gradually. Earlier you got rejections from teachers to understand your claim for marks. Then it came to the point where you were rejected some great opportunity. Then it came to rejection from people about your hobby. You loved to do something but no one liked it, in fact, they found it irritating.
Then you start getting rejected by colleges and then companies, in your love life and so many more place you cannot count.
I was 5 or 6 when I tossed my ball off on someone’s terrace and I couldn’t get it back. I called a tall guy and he tried to get me my ball back but even he couldn’t. After a few attempts, he gave up too.
He patted my head and said, life is hard, life is not fair. I was just a kid when he said this, now, I understand what he meant when he said that. Yes, life is hard, life is not fair but that shouldn’t stop you right?
If I tried a little harder, I would have got my ball back, I know it. You are going to face a lot of hardships, but that shouldn’t stop you from being who you want to be.
I’m on my chair right now, reclining as much as I could, keyboard in my lap and a blanket on top of me. Even the keyboard is in the blanket because I won’t dare remove my hand out.
The fan is off, the windows are closed, the door is shut, and I’m still feeling cold. I would seriously prefer being sleepy and having drowsy eyes for a day over a fever. Your back hurts, you can’t sit upright, your eyes are warm, the feet cold, if someone walks in your room and turns on the fan, you are dead.
But there’s this one little thing I love about it, it is not very severe and it is not stopping me from blogging, and that is good. I love the idea that even when I’m down I found the strength to blog. It feels good.
Actually, nothing would stop me from blogging now, or that’s what I love to think. I’ve been using “HabitBull”, a habit making app. And I love the idea behind it. They never said it, but I guess this is what it is.
“You are more afraid of losing something you have, over not being able to gain.”
They make chains, each habit has a chain and each day is a loop. The longer the chain grows, the more you feel proud, and more than not being able to gain another loop in the chain, you are afraid of leaving a gap in the chain. Breaking it. I’m afraid of breaking my chain. It’s over a month long, and it’s growing.
Try it out yourself. I used to skip blogging just because I have my whole squad playing the games with me, now I’m down with fever, and I’m still blogging.
And somewhere, more than the chains, I think it is you guys. The chain is an excuse, I love the way I’ve been growing recently. The numbers on the page are a treat, and reading the comments and DMs are the cherry on the cake.
P.S. Not sponsored.
What happens in your mind when you don’t know what is going around you?
Is it blank? Does it process slow? Do you start forgetting? Do you stop understanding? Or it just goes numb?
Do you speak your heart out? Or do you bottle in harder? Or it helps you forget everything?
Or nothing happens and people just have been believing it does something to them, because they heard from someone and they start acting like it actually does something, because they think something happened.
What if the mind being numb is actually your stress taking over your mind? And what if you could live your entire life on a high without intoxicating something? What if it is actually stopping you from living on a high?
Speaking your thoughts is one of the hardest things to do and to most of the people, intoxication helps them speak their mind. But is speaking your mind out the solution to everything? Or rather, is this the only way you can speak your mind?
Fright, embarrassment, rejection, trance kills all of these and your memories too. You get the courage to face the rejection at the cost of the moment you might cherish for the rest of your life, if only you could remember it. We destroy precious memories for the high of it.
I know there are some memories all of us want to remove or not have at all, but you cannot change the past, and you don’t know what the future is going to bring, so how can you fear having a memory that you don’t have yet? Bad memory or good, how does it matter, when memories define your life.
Nothing goes waste, not the moments, because you will remember them for a lifetime. Not time, because once passed, it determines your decisions in the future; not money, because once invested, it brings in returns or lessons; not love, because what seems to have vanished somewhere, remains in your heart, for your to love stronger, to bring you closer to the one that remains.
It may or may not be evident to you, but this here, right now, is the best version of you. Don’t lose it.
More than weed, we need souls.
Have you ever felt something happening to you for the second time? The same exact situation, the same people, and at times you are meeting the people you are in the moment with for the first time, and yet it feels like you’ve met them before?
And then you dreamt of a very nice thing happening right after that moment and you start expecting it, but it never happens? And then it all seems to be a lie?
Like what the hell? My luck was supposed to shine HERE, I could sense me winning a $1,00,000 right here, right now. WHERE is my good moment?
Even though you just felt that this was happening for the second time, it was just a feeling, a thought, and you still feel cheated by the universe. And exactly this feeling, makes me think that Deja Vu is a lie. I have felt something similar happening too, but the good part never comes.
The reason why I remember such a moment was because something good had happened but it does not happen. How is this supposed to be a vision of the future I had a while back when it does not complete? And why would I ever see something that does not contain anything important for me? Why?
Oh, believer’s of the power of the universe, tell me, why would the universe waste it’s time giving me sneak peeks of unimportant events? Even daily soaps don’t do that? What kind of advertisement is this? Even I won’t buy my life if it is going to be that boring.
Vacations are exciting. Months before you leave for your vacations you start thinking about all the things you are going to do when you are there. A few weeks before the day you start checking the temperature of the cities you are going to be to. Days before you leave you start packing.
And sometimes you still have a week to leave and your bags are already packed for the trip.
You are ready for it. You leave excited, singing jingles, playing travel games and are all set to reach there.
And then, you are there and you’re having fun, until a few days later, when you start feeling homesick. You start missing your bed, you start missing home cooked food, you start missing your city, and then every little thing reminds you of home.
And then you just want to go home at a point, you break down, but then you are on a trip with people who you want to enjoy with and not feel homesick, so you give in.
But then the “Go Home” day comes near and you are excited about it, but on a different note you are sad that the trip is about to end. You are excited to go home, but you don’t want to go home anymore.
Change is exciting, but never welcomed.
It sounds so odd that the things we are so excited about, are the things we don’t want once we have them.
It’s like the day the dog chasing a car touches it, will lose the purpose of its life, it’s like a man running around to earn a living…