So, the day is here.
My new title, The Perfect Couple is launching today! The title will be up really soon. Just stay tuned and I will keep you updated. Also, the giveaway winners, you’ll get your deliveries really really soon. I haven’t forgotten about them, only that you might need to wait for another day. Sorry about it, till then enjoy this excerpt from the title.
We were standing outside her place. I was there to drop her home.
“But I don’t want to go home,” she said and started stamping her feet like a five-year-old.
“But you have to,” I stated the obvious.
“I’m a teen, I can have nights out,” she said.
“You are a teen, not an adult. Go home,” I said.
“Why do you get to order me?”
“One, I’m the man in this relationship, and two, I’m older than you,” I said.
“3 months!” she shouted.
“And two thirds,” I added.
“Whatsoever,” she said and crossed her hands.
“Go home,” I said, pushing her toward the door.
“I. Don’t. Want. To. Go. Home,” she said.
“Okay, come with me.”
“To mine,” I said with a naughty look.
“Yay me! And your look won’t change my mind,” she said and punched my nose.
“Just tell your mom, okay?” I said.
“Why do we need to tell her?” she said and I looked at her, isn’t-it-obvious?
“Okay I’ll call.”
She told her mom that we were going to my place, and that there were 4 others with us. She wasn’t coming alone. She stammered through the call, but after 5 minutes of pleading and telling her mom that it was her birthday and a little more pleading, she finally agreed.
“Do you still want to go?”
“Yes,” she said and hugged me.
We walked together, holding and swinging our hands. It felt childish but good. We looked at the stars, and I slipped my arm around her waist. I pulled her close and tightened up.
“It hasn’t even been a day.”
“I’m sorry,” I said and pulled my hand away.
“No, I was saying it hasn’t been a day and… I feel so good about it.”
“Sure?” I asked, holding her again.
“A little tighter… Yes, that’s it,” she said. She held on to me tight and slipped the guitar pick into my pocket. She thought I wouldn’t notice. She kissed my neck and rested her head on my shoulder.
Some walks, you wish they never end,
Some seconds, you wish they never pass
I’m tired. It’s nice o’clock at night, and I’m tired already. I usually sleep at 3 in the morning or sometimes much later than that, but I guess I’ll be sleeping earlier today.
The blog is going to be short too. I’m just too tired right now to think of anything. I have no topics in my head, no ideas in my mind. I’m right now just tensed about tomorrow morning.
Firstly, because I’m worried if I will be able to wake up on time or not, and secondly, it’s a big day. I don’t feel like it, but it is a big day for me. I feel like it is just an ordinary day, and it is okay if I mess it up, or even if I miss it completely, but I guess, I might regret it later if anything like that happens tomorrow.
Now good night boys and girls, nothing worthy here, just an update, I’m just too tired. I’ll bring something exciting on the table tomorrow.
Talking to someone,
Someone who doesn’t want to talk,
Isn’t it the toughest?
You say hey,
They say go away,
And yet you have to stay modest.
You try to talk to someone,
You think you are good with,
But you are not,
You thought you are friends,
You thought you are better,
But I guess you are not.
Talking to a broken one,
Just to know how they are,
But they get back and bite!
You want to help them,
Because you couldn’t earlier,
But now they just spite.
You want to talk to someone,
But now the salt is real,
Here sugar won’t help,
You know, and still, you try,
For old times sake,
You tried, but welp.
You work, they stalk,
You move, they know,
You sit, they spectate,
You sing, the play,
You shout, the echo,
You agree, they debate.
When you cared they didn’t,
Now that you don’t. they do,
It’s hard to explain,
There was still time,
There was still hope,
But now, nothing would remain the same.
Everything about the way we were born sounds so hyped. Scientifically, with the race, astronomically, with the position of the planets and the stars, mythologically, with the purpose of life, and individually, well, everyone except you was excited. It doesn’t sound like you were born and it is a natural process, no. It was such a big deal the Lords delivered you to the house.
But you were born anyway, and right now you are the worst person you have ever met in your life. You are lazy, or you are not confident, you’ve procrastinated a lot, you can’t cope up with the competition, you are not worth something you have, and a lot more things that you have as reasons to hate yourself. Also, you are short on reasons to fall in love with yourself, or probably, falling in love with yourself is the last thing you would ever do.
But was your birth really your choice? No. You were born because someone was ready to have you in their lives. Someone who wanted a baby. You eventually grew up to be you, someone the baby hates too!
But what if your birth was a choice. Something all of us got as a choice and took it, but don’t remember it anymore. What if it was a written agreement even, we just don’t remember reading it, or maybe never read it, just signed it, as we do to the agreements of software.
But if it were a choice to you right now, will you take it? Or not? If birth is actually a choice, will you take it, to be who you are today? Or will you not.
If you will, then are you sure about it, are you sure that what you have is all you ever wanted? Think over it. And if not, you know you will regret everything you are doing today, at some point in the future. So, it is probably time to change it, it is probably time you start doing something for yourself.
It is probably time, when you start loving yourself and take birth as a choice and not as something that just happened.
When you want to have something you have never had before, you might need to be someone you’ve never been before. Changing yourself for the better might be something that you really need to do and you know when you are changing for the better or the worse. Changing seems to be a necessity to reach a goal.
But change doesn’t always mean results and changing yourself might not be the best thing to do. If you get everything you ever wanted, but you don’t love the way you are or the way your life would be, then you need to think, is it really worth it?
The worst thing you can ever do? Is changing yourself for someone. Someone might never fall for you for who you are and so you set out to change yourself. But are you sure, do you really want to pretend to be someone you are not, just so that you can be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?
Love yourself first. Try to know yourself first. See who you really are and the things you are pursuing, are they something you really want or are you after them just because everyone else is. Or is it just because you don’t see an option right now and you are just too impatient to wait for another one.
Take care of yourself, make yourself better – changes, goals, ambitions – everything will come eventually, and everything will become better once you know yourself and know what you really want.
Indulge in things you really want to do. Something you always wanted to do, but forgot about it while chasing dreams that aren’t really yours, while doing things your friends wanted to do, while running the rat race, while growing up.
And when you start loving yourself, you will find time to take care of yourself.
Umm, hmm, uh… I’m leaving.
It’s final. After having 160+ posts on this little blog, I’ve decided to finally leave this and get a new website for myself. Something that runs at its own. Something that I have complete control over.
No templates, no predefined borders, no ads, no branding, just something that I completely own and run. So that was it, after getting my second novel into the market and in the chase to start everything anew, all past grudges and mistakes forgotten, I got a new website for myself.
For starters, it looks insane, and I’m not kidding. Go check it out yourselves at sunainbanga.com, for the first time I’m happy with myself. For the first time, in like forever, I’ve invested into something worth it, and something that I would love to have today and will never use it again in the future.
So, yes, Bye Bye WordPress, I would still be blogging, I would still be writing, my blogs will still be here, my website will still be here, but yes, I’m leaving.
Don’t forget to bookmark me! Or rather just follow me on any social media, I write and update daily!
My phone rings all day long! Literally all day long. My phone battery earlier used to last at least 3 days without going through a full charge. Then I would charge it up and used it at ease. But now, my phone is ringing all the time! A few years back, when I saw people’s phone ringing all the time, it felt like a dream.
Getting Facebook notifications all the time, getting Instagram notifications, WhatsApp messages and even emails excited me back then, but right now when I have it, it sucks! I thought it would make you feel important and make you look busy and cool, but it doesn’t. It only drenches you of your energy and the will to stand another day.
Now, that I’ve signed up for so many things at once, and have a few email IDs, there are emails incoming every 15-30 minutes, my Instagram and Facebook have gone nuts over the past few days and I had to mute a few dozen groups on WhatsApp just to remain sane.
And even though it feels weird and tiring, it feels good too. It does make you look busy and important, even though deep inside you know, you are not.
Meanwhile, my WordPress is also booming! Thanks to you guys! Of all the things that have grown over the past few days, I’m most excited about the growth of this little website, gaining a few followers every week and more people joining in. Sadly, I will be shutting the web off soon.
I won’t stop blogging, I won’t stop writing, I would just be shifting. So, stay in touch. I’ll update! Peace!
When I was a kid, I used to lie to my parents so I would get a few extra hours with my friends, and my parents wanted me to stay at home and focus on myself, rather than spending time somewhere.
A few years down, I started lying to my friends so that I could stay at home and do something I want to do and not something everyone else wants to do. My parents wanted me to go out. I started cutting out people, kept only the very special ones close.
Another few years down the line, when the close ones left, there was no one around to invite me somewhere, and I wanted attention, so I started calling everyone in, and then when they started to call me, I started lying again, to stay at home.
Another year or two later, I started saying no directly instead of lying to my friends. And right now, I don’t even care. Someone calls me, I won’t go, someone doesn’t call me, I don’t care.
Is this actually how you grow up? Stop caring and start doing what is important?
My mom used to tell me you have to take everyone with you. By the time you are old enough, you will have a very big group and you’ll have the responsibility to keep everyone happy. Everyone you know, you need to keep your bonds with them and maintaining the bonds needs effort.
Well, I don’t have a group, and I don’t care. So, is this actually how you grow up. You stop caring, you stop being with people and love your own company? You are happier when you are alone? And don’t need someone to be around you any.
Times died, where you had this craving for someone to be in your life, someone to care about you, someone you can share everything with. Now you are happy the way you are and life is a lot better than it was when people were around?
Is this how you grow up? Or did I do something wrong?
I visited a Business School lately, and it just reminded me of a factory. An overpriced factory, producing similar products no difference, just different barcodes, different flavors and running down the assembly line.
Everyone looked exactly the same. Everyone wore a suit and a crisp white shirt inside it, shiny shoes, gelled hair and cotton ties. For a minute, it was hard to digest what was happening around me. It felt like it was not a part of the world but some different race altogether.
Everyone stood in a queue, with one-hand-gap from the person in from of them, and were headed somewhere I couldn’t see, the line was too long and where they were headed was way too far.
I believe they were running down their assembly lines. It seemed weird. Like the faces were the barcodes, the specializations were the flavors and there was nothing special about anyone. They all seemed the same, no difference, no uniqueness.
So, I asked one of them, where were they head. He didn’t know. So I asked the one in front of him, and the girl behind him, neither of them knew, where they were headed. They just stood in the queue, without asking anything to anyone.
They did what everyone else was.
Have you ever had numbers as a motivation to do something? Be it a high score in a video game, high marks in an exam, a big sum of money, or having more followers and big fan base? Have you done something that involved getting a big number?
You might have, we all do. But it is weird the way numbers take over take over the way we want to work in our lives. Math is something, a lot of us have developed a hatred towards, and still, numbers seem to be running our lives.
All of us are motivated to do things that will make the numbers grow. A little something that controls the way all of us act, something that seems to be engraved in us, something that makes us run the way we do.
But should numbers really be the reason we work? Are they really a goal for you and me in the long run? Or are they just something keeping us away from what we actually want to do? Long streaks on Snapchat but no ambitions in life, long list of novels read, and yet no trips to place outside the fantasy world, long number of people you have befriended, and yet no one, you love with everything in you.
Chasing the numbers gives your life a temporary purpose and it lasts as long as you don’t get bored with it or don’t give up or don’t get that. But sometimes, smaller numbers look better the way they are because at times, there is something way more important than the magnitude of a number.
There is a life that you have to live and that is way more important than making a number look big.