You know something all writers fear? Blank screens.
Looking at a white screen for hours and not making a single black dot on it. Or looking at the white paper and not making a single scratch on it. What haunts writers the most, are writer blocks or running out of ideas to write on.
Staring at the screens endlessly, waiting for them to fill themselves up somehow, magically. Waiting for magic to happen and your fingers start doing something again. Then finally, giving up and surfing the internet and watching cat videos.
Or scrolling through the Instagram posts to find some motivation and then end up watching cat videos again. Giving up on that too and going down for a walk, thinking you need some “fresh air”. You walk around lost in your own thought. Wandering on the streets and forgetting who and what you are and just sauntering until you are lost, in your thoughts and on the streets.
But finally you know what you are going to write next, and that is it, you have cracked it. So you start walking back home. Home? Where is it? Where are you?
You panic, look around, ask people where you are and then finally opening the maps only to realise you are way to far and end up taking a cab back home. But in all of this, you forget what you were thinking about, what you were going to write about.
You did not have a pen to note it down and you were dumb enough to not note it on your cellphone.
Now you are at home, the screen is still blank and you are on your chair, still staring at it.
Give yourself a pat on the back. You have successfully updated a blank screen to a blank screen.
I wish I could see you right now, hold your hand and look into your eyes. Hug you, kiss you and cuddle with you, and might be, get to live the days, that I’ve spent waiting for you. I want you to come back, and we will go to the worlds, we wished to visit.
An Excerpt from
The Perfect Couple
She was sitting on the bed with a closed pizza box on her lap, staring into space. The television set played one of our all-time favorite movies.
“God! It took you an eternity to get out of there!” she said lowering the volume of the TV set to a bear audible. I wiped my feet dry and tucked my towel in my wardrobe.
“Pizza,” she said tapping the box when I turned around to look at her. She opened the box and there was an entire pizza. She hadn’t taken a single bite. I slowly pushed the box off her lap and rested my head on it. I didn’t face her but her toes.
“Are you okay?” she asked and I nodded. The standard one and a half-nod saying leave me alone but please stay. I held her by her waist and tightened around her.
“Okay,” she said and started caressing my hair.
Not that she didn’t know something was wrong, but that I wasn’t going to say a word. She knew the more she pushed for it, the angrier I’d get. For this was not the first time and wasn’t going to be the last either. She had seen this side of me earlier, and, well, that was the first time that she saw me at my worst. We don’t talk about it. For both of us know it isn’t to be brought up. I tossed and turned a million times, but she just kept stroking my hair.
I got up, looked into her eyes, and then rested on the pillow beside her. I pulled her close, she didn’t resist, instead rested her head on my chest. I saw her fall asleep and wished to see her till the end of time.
“I love you,” I whispered and kissed her forehead.
“I love you too,” she said, her eyes still closed and kissed my neck. She snuggled up to me and we hugged to sleep.
“These silences between us, were where we talked,
These moments were where ‘we’ met.”
“Then why did she leave you?” She asked.
“Some people leave, just because they want to” I sighed.
We could be sitting here, right here, in the balcony under the wide open sky, gazing at the stars. Or rather you could gaze at the stars while I look into your eyes. I could be quite, none of us say a word, but I know, it would still be magical.
We could be piggyback riding back into the living room and walking into the kitchen. I reheat the pizza while you still cling onto my back. It could be quite, the pizzas might turn cold again and you might end up on my back again for another piggyback ride, but I know, it would still be magical.
And then, when the clock says it’s midnight, we could watch the one movie you always wanted to watch but never did because you were terrified of watching it alone, and I never watched it because you wanted to watch it with me. We might just end up in arms and miss the entire moving looking at each other, but I know, it would still be magical.
And after the movie that we never saw is over, we can head down on the roads and have a walk while the cold breeze plays with your hair, and I have my hand in the pockets of my jacket, which you are wearing. It’s cold, or it’s my jacket and I own the pockets, or it’s just an excuse to have my hands around your waist, we could fight over it, but I know, it would still be magical.
And then I battle your midnight chocolate cravings, pick you up and put you on the bike, and we cruise through city roads with you holding me tightly with your shivering hands. We go miles to find the one shop that would serve you ice-cream at that hour, it is cold you can complain, but I know it could still be magical.
And then we get back home, I could tuck you in the bed and get to work and write my daily post about “you”. And I know you will not sleep and just look at me through a gap under the blanket and you think I will not notice. And you won’t sleep until I don’t come and wrap you in my arms and kiss you goodnight, but I know, it would still be magical.
It could be just you and just me, and I know, it would be magical.
Have you ever disappeared out of someone’s life? Someone so important to you, but now also someone who doesn’t know if you exist or not. Just going out of their sight, and never returning. Not having the slightest hope to see them ever again, and it doesn’t even seem like they are interested to see where you are and what you are doing either. Not interested in getting in touch with you ever again.
You know they probably check on your profiles every day and see how you are doing today. They check on you to know what are you up with these days, but they won’t agree that easy and you know it. It’s all about the ego someone uses on you to get their purposes served, or rather just get their egos satisfied.
You are not there around them, you are not even in their radar, you are nowhere to be seen, you have just vanished out of their lives completely.
The once protagonist of their story has died a slow death at the hands of the writer. It was once when you lead their lives and they loved what you used to do for them and what you promised to do. You were working on your promises when they thought that you aren’t. And when the protagonist fails to deliver, when the protagonist fails to live up to the promises, the story is bound to fail.
And now you know, or rather just think, it was all a game. Because you are still here, trying to fulfill your promises, while the writer already has a new protagonist.
Someone who might be promising the same things as you did, or something better. And they will stay the protagonist unless they fail to deliver.
All of us have some goals in life. It could be going to the gym daily, starting your own firm, starting a website, becoming a social media influencer, ranking up in a competitive video game… anything! We have a path that we have created for ourselves to follow. A path that might lead us to where we want to be. Even if it doesn’t, we will get a little closer every day and could change the path a little to get there.
We have the plan ready, we have the idea ready, but most of us just don’t start walking. We just stare at it. We know what we need to do to get there, we think we have it all planned on the paper, but there’s no practical backing, so we just chicken out. Or we need a perfect job that could back you up and fund your ventures, give you enough extra time before you actually set out.
None of the ventures start without money, agreed. But there are many more ways to start earning without a job that you can take up to get to where you want. Freelancing, part-time jobs, baby and pet sitting, ghostwriting, virtual assistant, cab drivers and so many more. There are so many ways to earn money. It might not get you all the things that you need to set out and it might not pay handsomely, but you can start somewhere.
If not the entire company, you can start a website for the moment and tell the world about your plans. When you have your plans written in your personal diary, you might back off from them at any time, but once they are out there, you won’t.
It is not necessary to win at everything you start, you will fail a few times before you actually start getting somewhere. But you will succeed, or you will fail, only if you start.
A lot of us have our paths ready, our ideas ready, our plans ready, but we are not ready to walk that path.
Just start walking before it is too late, before someone walks your path, give it all you have in you. You can do whatever you want to succeed because if you win you don’t need to explain anything and if you fail there is no need to explain.
You had one objective in your mind for the past so many months. You had worked day in and day out just to get somewhere and now, when your efforts are starting to pay when you are moving towards your final goal, when you are finally going to have all you had ever dreamt of what if the one thing you needed the most, fails?
Like, suppose you were planning to buy land, a property by your dad’s name as a gift to him. You had earned a lot of money and stored all of it in your bank account. Now, right before your FDs were going to mature, or right before you were going to make your final deposit, the income tax department comes in and seals all your accounts because they suspect criminal activity.
What do you do? You don’t even know if the hold is permanent or temporary or how long the cases in the court would last. All your hard earned money, collected over the years is locked in the bank account forever. Yes, you did some percentages of cheating in your taxes, but it was as much as salt in a dish, and that shouldn’t stop you, but it is!
You stay there, frozen in your feet and there is nothing you can do about it. You are just a powerless guy with no contacts, no connections and you are stranded in the desert all on your own. What do you do? Nothing, just make a new goal in your life, understand life is not fair and move on or just wait and try something to warm up your dead cold feet.
“Need is the mother of invention, but curiosity kills a man”.
What do you live your life like? Do you fulfill your needs and settle down, take a deep breath and relax. Or do you test it out, try everything on yourself just to get the extra bit and might be, make it to the top someday?
While people have always been telling you to treat your body like a temple, and body is the most important thing to you, treating it like a science lab might work too. Experiment with it, get your hair colored, get tattooed, open up to new experiences, open up to the world once again and try new things.
Try new food, meet new people, hang out with the people you connect with, drop out the people you are with only because they might get you somewhere someday, the friends you have because you might benefit from them and not because you like them. Stay with people you share comm0n energies with, and stay away from those who would never have your back.
All your thoughts are derived from your experience and eventually, it is going to get you tunnel minded. Get connected with someone, get more experiences, think with people like you, let all the experiences, let all the people come in before you make a decision. The decision might still be tunneled by your experience, but after so many experiences and meeting so many people, while it is still tunneled, the tunnel might just have a wider mouth.
Though your body is a temple and staying away from things that would harm it for good might not be in your best interest, but something that you might grow from, something that could make your better, you need to try it. Just remember, not all inventions were made by Gods in the temple, some needed The Science Lab.
When you are in a tough spot or in a pickle, and if it is really hard to make a decision, then remember at the end of it all, all that matters is you!
You are low on money and your friends want you to go out with them, then remember they are with you today, and might not be there tomorrow. If the offer is tempting and is something you cannot refuse, then go! If your monetary situation is so bad that you cannot even afford a cab to the office or to the local store, then remember the friends might leave you tomorrow and all that remains is you!
If you have to make a choice between choosing someone and something that is very important to you or sacrificing something that you wanted to chase ever since you were a child and now you get a shot at it, but something turns up and you have to let go of you chance for someone or something, just remember, that something might be fragile and might break tomorrow, and someone might leave you by the end of the day, so all that is important is you!
If you are in a dilemma and you cannot decide between the good and the easy, and even though the good might never get you what you wanted and easy is a tempting offer plunged at you, then just remember, all that matters is what will you think about yourself when you are done with this, will you be okay? Or will you regret it? Because all that you are going to care about it, is you!
And when you have to choose between money, or fame, or if you are thinking to pursue a goal, or you just want to be kind to someone, don’t wait for an opportunity, don’t wait for anything, because at the end of it all, when you are not here anymore, people are not going to remember who you wanted to be, all that would be remembered is you!
If you haven’t fallen in love already then do it, all you need to love is you!
So, I’ve been getting a lot of inboxes lately, about how to write a novel? Where do I start? How to write it? Will people read it? Will anyone like my writing? Is it difficult to get sales? How do you get your books published? How to contact the publishers? And so many more. There are all sorts of questions including questions that are projected a few decades ahead of now.
Well, before I answer your questions, I have a question for you. There were three frogs sitting on a branch, one decided to jump, how many remain on the branch?
He decided to jump but never jumped.
You too have decided to jump, but you haven’t jumped. You are just sitting there, idling around, and that would make a big difference in what you are doing right now and what you are going to do tomorrow and in the next few years.
Don’t just sit there, jump! Take that leap of faith and let the opportunity guide you to where you are supposed to be. You need to act before you expect the results. Expect less and work more. Just follow your heart and you might get where you want to be if not, you will be somewhere that suits you.
Just write out your heart, just don’t care about what people are going to think about your novel, are they going to like it or not, if it would sell or not, all these are problems that you might face after you are published, and getting published is going to be a problem after you have written your novel.
If you haven’t written your novel, you aren’t going to face these problems, so why are you worrying about the problem that would never come your way? First write it out! Write what you want to write, don’t care about the grammar or the spellings or the flow of the book, just write it. Once you are done writing it, we will correct everything.
Once you are done writing it, we will find a publisher and once you are published we will take care of the sales.
Don’t worry if people don’t like your novel, they might fall in love with the second, or the third or the one following it. And lastly, you cannot please everyone. The world’s best selling authors are not loved by everyone. They are loved by many, but not everyone. You will always have someone you cannot please, you will always have someone, who likes someone else more than you, and that is absolutely fine!
For now, just write it out!
You are low on money, you might not be able to afford a necessity, you might not be able to get something everyone else seems to have, everyone has an edge over you, do you give up? Or do you try?
And when you try, do you rage on everyone around you who doesn’t need to try as hard as you do and losing an opportunity you wish you had? Or do you walk your own path and don’t expect anything from anyone? Do you believe or do you trust? Do you walk your own path and share it only when it is a success story? Or do you tell everyone about it and take help from them?
But does giving up always mean you have lost and accept defeat gracefully or does it mean you on;y need some rest before you pounce?
Giving up doesn’t always mean you are giving up on the whole mission, and sometimes it is just taking a step back and doing the damage to run the entire mission and make it a success. You break the bone of the problem, you kill it with fear when you are short of bullets and there it is, a match won over broken pride and broken confidence.
What do you do? There are clouds and you can’t afford to remove them? Do you fly below them and become the prey? Or do you tear through them, up above, and become the master of the skies?