For the first time in months, I’ve felt like I have nothing to do. Have you ever felt that there’s no burden on you?
There’s nothing to read, nothing to work on in games, no new dramas, no new TV shows, no need to read newspapers, no books lying around on my bed. There is absolutely nothing that I need to do.
Out of habit, I still woke up at 8 in the morning, walked around the house searching for something to read. I did find the magazine issue I bought a few days back, but then I remembered that I don’t need it anymore. And in the afternoon I was on games again, but there was no pressure on me to win or perform, I was just playing.
In the evening, I logged out of the game account and then regretted having wasted the entire afternoon playing games. And then I looked at my left, where there’s usually a stack of books. It wasn’t there. Then I remembered, I dumped it this morning, I don’t need it anymore. I was free and logged into games again.
Have you ever felt, that there’s nothing for you to do? Everything you wanted to do or was on your to-do list has been crossed out?
Now there is only one thing to do, wait. Wait for the results, wait for something new to turn up, wait while you build yourself.
A lot of us at time feel alone, left out and not being worth someone who we would love to have around us. And in an attempt to get someone, we often tend to fall for desperate moves.
The problem is, that we think being around someone one of influence, or someone we look upto is the key to be better in life. Or maybe getting close to someone we admire or adore, might let us have that extra motivation we need to do a lot better.
This is turning out to be a problem for all of us. While social media is also doing its part in backing our inferiority complexions.
However, the truth is, that you don’t actually need people to be happy or to do better in life. And you definitely don’t need those people who are the reason why you can’t smile through the day.
Those who want to be with you will be with you always, those who don’t are never going to be no matter what. It might be hard to let go of some people, but clinging onto someone only kills your chances to be with someone else.
Someone who might be able to add more value to your life, that what your lost love would ever do.
When even the biggest celebrities on the face of this earth, go for a break, I may be someone who deserves a break too.
I’ve been typing out every single day for more than 3 months now. Everyday, back to back, one article adds up on this website. But now tomorrow.
I have something very important coming up on the day after, and I don’t want to take chances with it. Not blogging is certainly not going to help my chances there, but it might let me sleep early and keep myself calm, that for the entire day I was preparing for it.
So, no blog tomorrow, but on the day after, I’ll see you again, here.
War often sounds like an ancient term to us. Something that is long gone and used to happen decades ago and doesn’t happen anymore. It is the act of the past and the world is not at peace, there are no wars anymore.
But this might the truth we wish to believe or the media wants us to believe. Maybe the death toll of millions a year did fall down, maybe there is no actual bloodshed in the world anymore but there are still wars.
Silent wars between nations, silent wars between states, unspoken wars for water, wars for making your favorite team win, or lose, wars in your head about the future, wars between couples that pulled them apart. Acts of terror leading to wars like conditions, trade duties imposed between nations that disrupt the entire world, social media that actually brought the world closer now tearing it apart, securities for individuals that costed them families.
There are wars still going on. War is not a topic of history, even though for the past few years it has been, but it might not longer remain in textbooks but will soon end up in newspapers.
While the world seeks peace, there are agents of evil all over the world and if the administration of our society falls into the hands of these agents, we are doomed for good.
The world will be at war, once again.
Someone across the continent, a few countries away from you, someone you know very well and talk to every day, do you know how they are right now? Maybe, maybe not. But have you ever felt something tingling whenever something wrong happens to them?
Have you ever felt something really strange that makes you feel uneasy and you are not quite sure what it is about? You don’t know what it is that is making you feel so, or what is it that you are so worried about even though you cannot see anything to be worried about.
That strange feeling when you don’t know exactly what happened but you know something went terribly wrong. And a few hours later when everything calms down, you get a call from the person miles away from you, telling you what happened to them through the day and that’s when you realize what went wrong.
Or have you received a call from someone right before you are about to make an important decision or when you are in a problem? And they tell you over the phone that they were thinking about you and called you to check up on you. Then you tell them what is happening around you and they advice you against the decision you were going to make?
These are the connection. Real life connection that actually still work. Even with the boundless connectivity of the cellphone and the social media keeping us close and distracted, the oldest way of communicating still seems to work.
The only problem now is that it is not as common as cellphone and it couldn’t be bought in minutes, it takes years to develop a connection that rings across continents.
You don’t know what I’m going through, so don’t say that you understand and don’t pretend that you have been through something similar.
It is said that only a man with the same boots can understand why the other man is wearing them. Only a man who has been through pain understands what someone else is going through.
And when you lost your loved one to something very unfortunate, maybe you can sit with someone who lost their pet. When you break up with someone you loved with all your heart, maybe sit with someone whose family member went missing or someone who just got divorced. Maybe you can complement each other. You two might sit together and even though you cannot cheer up the other, you might be able to understand what it is like to be in their shoes.
You might not be able to tell someone what to do next, how can they get out of there, but just maybe be a listener and understand their condition. And sometimes, all someone needs is someone to understand their problem and realize what is going on in their heads with each passing second.
Sometimes, the way to get over some problem is not the solution, it is not the shoulder you cry on, but just sitting with someone who understands you.
You did something amazing and people love the idea of what you have done and you are being highly appreciated. You think people would love to read about it, people will love to watch it, people will love to talk to you about it, get to know you better and then you prepare things that could get you there.
And people are excited about what you are doing, it seems like there has been nothing like this before, everyone is in love with the thought of it, but then something happens at the very last moment.
Everything you have done, everything you built so far, all goes waste, only because of something you thought would never happen.
You had a sense that something could go terribly wrong, and you had confirmed that what went wrong, would actually never happen but it still went wrong. And you are not at fault, the people are not at fault because they still love you! The problem was with the guy who said he would sort out everything for you and still under his watch, everything went wrong in his side.
He took the money from you, he charged you well in advance, and right now he hardly cares what really happens with you and your audience. He just went home and is now relaxing or rather trying to get someone else like you for his next bait.
At times, you might fall into the same or a similar situation, and I know for a fact how frustrating it could be for you. But instead of getting upset, and instead of getting frustrated, you know better than me that it is not the time to give up or mourn over it. It is time to come up with something new. Something that could change what happened and break all your old records and give your audience what they want.
I stood outside the door just to see her face for one last time before I leave the city. It had been a few years since I last met her. The last time I remember seeing her, was when she kissed me goodbye, before leaving.
She never returned. She never came back. I saw her running downstairs and that was it, we were done, just like that. Years of relationship, thousands of promises, millions of memories over, with a snap. She didn’t even look back at me once, just ran downstairs.
I knocked again and looked at my shoes, they had a little dirt on them. I lifted my pants up and rubbed the shoes against the socks until they were shining. The last time I remember, we were happy, I kept busy but we were happy. We were in the tightest embrace ever, when she broke down and said she can’t be with me anymore. It came out of nowhere. She just said it.
I guess she isn’t home. But she always is at this time. And there’s a Manchester United match today, she wouldn’t miss it for the world. Recline on her couch, have a bowl of chocolate ice cream and some Doritos by her side while she watches through it. I never understood how and where she got Doritos, they weren’t very common around.
I guess people change preferences, she might not be in love with football anymore. She got over it, maybe? Just like she got over me. I just stood there, in hopes, she would come home soon or open up.
I didn’t expect him to come, but I wished he would come to say goodbye. I wish he had knocked a few years earlier when I just waited for him to come and get me.
It was hard for me too when we broke up, I just wanted to be with him, but I knew if I would look back, I won’t be able to control myself, so I just ran. I cried, I hope he did too. We promised “forevers” and we didn’t have any “nows”.
I got up from the couch and straightened myself up, I check myself in the mirror, I think I looked just fine or rather just he wouldn’t mind me looking shabby. He was no longer himself when I last met him. He was always too busy to even talk to me. He hugged me whenever I met him, but I never felt the warmth in them, it just felt like a duty he had to fulfill.
I kept down the bag of Doritos and the ice cream bowl that I was still holding in front of the mirror, and turned down the volume of the TV set. He came at the same time he always did, he knew I would be home? Or just guessed it? I guess he still follows football after years of me forcing him into it and knew it would watch it?
I was about to unlock the door, but I didn’t. I’ve seen him walk away once, not again. I wish I could get over him, just like he got over me. I just wish he would knock again, or rather just barge in, I’m waiting.
I have stayed away from you,
Just in hopes to get closer,
I have loved and pampered you,
You were my picture and the poser,
But, you blocked me out and walked away,
I just wanted a “closure”.
You walked out never to turn back,
But you kissed me on your way out,
I tried to talk to you,
But you were just shutout,
I thought you would come back,
We would last, I had no doubt.
For the first time, I was wrong about us,
But, well, there was no longer an ‘us”
I shouted, I grunted,
I cried and I cursed,
And then we did meet, and all you said,
“Why are you creating a fuss?”
The distances were to make us strong,
The distances you said were ours,
We made them, to fight the world,
And we would fight even the stars,
You said we controlled them,
But I just waited for them to end for hours.
I texted you and wanted to talk to you,
All you said, well nothing,
You never replied, you never did,
Instead kept cutting,
You told me to not text you,
Unless you do something.
It was hard on me,
It was hard on you,
And trust me,
And I want you back, and I am stronger now,
I’d battle anything now for you.
While people are reading 15 books in January and 12 books in February, I’m still at book number one in this year. I’m a slow reader, I don’t like to binge through the chapters but read slowly and gradually, falling in love with each character and guessing what could happen next.
I just sat on the dinner table and was seeing what has been made when everyone started eating. There were some rice and some dal. I mixed the dal with the rice and by the time I looked up, my family was half done with their plates and by the time I started eating my dad got up from the table and washed his hands. I’m slow, I like to eat slowly and enjoy the meal, what’s wrong with that?
Me and my friend started studying at the same time, by the time I was done with chapter one, he had already started chapter five. I’m slow at understanding concepts while he learns them quickly, so what? I eventually ended up scoring more than him. Even if I hadn’t, how does it matter if I’m slow and I like to learn things slowly and understand everything in detail?
I’m slow at everything, so what? I might get my success late. I might get my promotion late. As long as I’m delivering quality, and I know I’m doing it with all my heart, I will get everything eventually, now won’t I?
I know, the world likes the quick and the efficient. I’m not quick, but I’m efficient and I deliver quality. Speed hardly matters when people pay for quality and not quantity.
Take your time, walk slow, think about what you are going to do next, do it with all your heart. Things might come late, but they will come in.