Have you ever been so caught up in things around you that you don’t even have time for your own self? You are just sitting in the spot every day, thinking today would be different. Today you would have some time for yourself and you’ll make the change that you wanted from a very long time.
But as the day proceeds you are just sitting there, being all tied up in your everyday grinding. You don’t have time for what you thought you would do today, but today, you don’t have time for something you do every other day. Suppose you take a five-minute tea break every day but today you can’t do that either.
Your personal activities are being cut down one by one and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it?
Well, that is something that happened to me over the past week. A lot has changed in a week and I actually don’t have the time to write an article out.
And that’s why I’ve been off, again. I know that is bad but trust me there is hardly anything I can do about it. I’ve been caught up into something. Well, a lot of things. A lot has happened in the past week and I will update it don’t worry but right now, I’m just tied up.
One day, I’ll pack up my bags and be gone. When you come to see me in my room, I would not be there. My stuff would not be there, my signs of existence would not be there, I would not be there.
I would be gone, gone far beyond the places where you could reach, far beyond your reach so that you could not find me. The number of times I have seen the airport and the railways I should have been gone by now. But, the idea of seeing you one more time before I leave holds me back. I should be gone, but the idea of never seeing you again holds me back.
I do stay, but only to see you once again. Then, I ask you to come along and you only laugh at how stupid it would be to leave everything behind, and then you laugh, again, and I want to go and leave you back, again.
I would be gone someday, someday really soon, but I still think that one day you’ll see what I actually plan for us. But if you cannot be with me, when I make our castle, I would rather not have you in the castle. I would tell my guards to never let you even look at the marvel.
I can do so much more, but not in this place, where I am suffocating and I cannot do anything without telling everyone what I plan to do. I can do so much more if I’m not constantly under surveillance where you come and check if I’m even productive or not. I can do so much more, if I am not here.
One day, I’ll be gone. Backpacking all over the world, or just staying somewhere, where it feels like home. One day, I’ll be gone, when I’ll be done. One day, I’ll be gone. Never to return, never to be seen.
I’ve always managed to get to the point where I can no longer choose. I can but it is a choice only in my mind not actually a choice.
And then it always boils down to, you are too tired just sleep, anything you are going to do right now will not be good; and to the thought that, hey! you can do this, have another cup of coffee and start right now, we still have this.
Then I think about yesterday, how I managed to pull things off with a cup of coffee, and then about the headache that I have because of the little sleep I had last night.
Then about tomorrow morning, when I have to wake up early and should I actually risk my sleep and walk in drowsy tomorrow, or just sleep, push the deadline a few hours ahead and walk in with confidence tomorrow.
I’ve slept one night’s sleep spread over a week and I’ve had days where I missed on a complete date on the calendar because I was sleeping.
And right now, it’s one same situation, and I believe I’m going to sleep right now. I have work to do because I told someone I’ll try my best to do it by today.
But then again, I said try, and the deadline is not until the day after.
I want to be a singer, and I want to dance while I sing. I want to live life like a King being at the top, and I want to start without anything, right from the bottom.
I want to write about myself, and I want to write about you, I want to write about the people I meet, and I want to write about the people who I might never meet. I want to feel every emotion a story shares, I want to be heartless when I write my own.
I want to know the story behind everyone, I want to know the story no one shares. I want to write stories that have already spoken out, I want to write stories that are confined to the hearts. I want to write stories that will change lives on the face of the earth, I want to write stories that just entertain people.
I want to explore the world and the worlds of the universe, I want to sit at home and make it my own universe.
I want to be a wolf, I want to be a cat, I want to be a tiger, I want to be a rat.
I want to be on a hill, I want to relax by the beach, I want to dig the soil, and go where even I can’t reach.
I want to be discovered, renowned and be famous, I want to nameless, unknown, anonymous. I want to sign autographs whenever I set my foot out, I want to just relax, put in my earphones and look at the sun go down.
I want to be me, I want to be you, I want to be him, I want to be that. I want to be everything at once.
Mark a milestone and chase for it. While some don’t work with milestones, many have milestones set even for the most minuscule of our targets.
Reading a book, writing an article, watching a TV series and even buying grocery and many small things like these are milestones. Needless to mention business ventures, starting up a firm, writing a novel, completing a degree, learning a language and many more.
All these milestones that we set for ourselves are things we want to do, in a certain time period and we mark dates on them. To keep ourselves motivated we make these milestones.
With each target you make through, you feel more energetic and happy that you are now another step closer to what you want. Slowly you make through another milestone and then another and another.
And when it is finally done, you are happy and overjoyed and that is the best feeling ever. Especially, if it was a tough thing to do then your happiness sees no bounds, but what after that?
What do you do after you are done with it? You have got what you wanted, what seemed to be the purpose of your life from many many months, now that you have it, what next? While your whole life roamed around a thing for a few months and sometimes even years and decades, and it took up a major portion of your life. Now that you have it, what it next?
When it is all over? When there is nothing left?
Why are all of us always uptight? Wearing crisp clean shirts, full pants or knee-length skirts with high heel shoes.
Why are we always trying to look presentable, what is wrong with being who you really are? What is up with sounding professional more than sounding like a friend.
Why do we run from situations that look a little adverse? Why can’t we just stay and tell the people around us that we are battling with something and we would prefer our privacy instead of saying that you are fine? Or why not just tell them exactly what you are feeling right now?
Why do we run away from conversation but never run away from fights? We would quarrel and yell at the one in front of us, but we would never sit calmly and talk our problems through?
Why do we react when it is already a bit too late to be reacting? Why do we react when it is actually time to let go? Why?
Can’t we just stay put, put our guards down and be more open, instead of trying to maintain the high we created for our own selves?
You have been tensed about something from a very long time and right now you cannot think of anything else.
You are just waiting for something to go through and you are already thinking about what you are going to do after that. What if the thing you are waiting for does not get through as planned? What if your expectations are not met?
What if the plan that you thought through and rethinking about, changes aspects over the next few days while you wait for everything else to get along?
This could be the time that you wanted, or rather the timeout that you wanted from work but you are wasting it on overthinking. Just calm down and relax until everything aligns.
If it is in your control, go ahead and just do it, if not, what’s the point of making detailed plans? It is time to take a day off.
Can you love twice?
Let’s take something that is the story of the day. Everyone has the same story, falling and falling out of relationships all year long, falling in and out of love.
You were in love with someone long long ago, and you were together for years before you fell out of that relationship. It was immature, you both were open to each other and did what you wanted to do. It was childish but it was fun while it lasted. You had no pretenses and there were no social media likes on your relationships, but people talked about your relationship. Both of you boosted the other. Your love made people jealous.
You loved them with all you have in you, and they loved you with all they have in them, but you had different ways of love and that made you split. A few months after you just fell out of a relationship with them, you got in another relationship.
You loved your new relationship. It offered a lot more, it was mature and an understanding relationship, where both of you cared for each other, or just that the other one showed they cared and you never understood the pretenses, you expected it to unconditional like the one before. You were in love, again? Your life started revolving around that new someone and you forgot about all your dreams. You stopped chasing everything and just chased that new someone.
And when the spark of the new relationship died out for them, they fell out while you were still discovering. You were still loving the spark while it had died out for them months ago.
So, did you actually fall in love again? No, you didn’t. You were just loving the high. Did you actually fall in love the first time? Maybe, no one knows except you.
It happens to the best of us. But at the end, it all boils down to whether your tried or not. Whether you went on and fought for your love, or you just sat there waiting, until it was too late. When you realize, what love actually was, is or will be for you, and if you think you have found the one then fight for it, before it is too late and you see it slipping again. Slipping away into them thinking they have found “true love” in worldly attraction.
Love might not be easy to define, you might not have reasons to love, but it is easy to identify.
Love doesn’t scar, it heals. Love doesn’t ask, it gives. Love is not one-sided, it is shared. Love doesn’t run, it waits. Love doesn’t expire with months, spark does. Love doesn’t age, relationships do. Love doesn’t have reasons, deals do. Love is not jealous or possessive, bonds are. And love doesn’t lose, lusts and attractions do.
Love wins, always.
What defines a traveller? Someone who roams around the world? Maybe? But isn’t that something a tourist does too, roam around the world?
Go to all the places of beauty, get rooms in expensive hotels, eat expensive meals at luxurious restaurants, pack suitcases well in advance, have your whole tour planned, take pictures at famous spots, and have tickets booked well in advance? Isn’t that a tourist?
What makes a traveller different? What makes their ideas sound so crazy to people? What do they do differently that people call them travellers and not tourist?
Well, not the Instagram caption or Snapchat story captioned wanderlust, but probably someone who doesn’t care about where they are headed next. Someone who cannot stay at once place. Someone who just leaves on the very next flight to somewhere no one knows and goes there to meet the local people and stay at the cheapest motel they can find.
Someone who doesn’t know the tourist spots of the country they are in, someone who doesn’t travel with luxury, someone who doesn’t eat at expensive restaurants but eats with the locals, someone who doesn’t care about the tourist spots or about carrying a camera with them, even if they do it is not to click their own pictures, it is just to get lost in the crowd.
Someone who loves to eat the local food, someone who mixes up with the locals or maybe even shares a room with them. Someone who doesn’t book tourist vehicles or doesn’t take a cab but rents a bike, a motorcycle or a car and roams around the entire city, state, and country without stopping and without getting tired.
They don’t stop at tourist spots, they stop at places they would love to stop at, adore the beauty and then just hope to the next country. Never having a home to return to one. They are not people of a country or of a city, they are people of the world. They don’t have a home, the world is their home.
A tourist spends money for calming down, a traveller travels to calm the wanderlust.
A tourist tours, a traveller wanders.
Have you ever thought of how easy life would have been if you could just pack your bags up, switch off your phones, and just leave? No goodbyes, no phone calls, no notes left behind? Just a one-way ticket to somewhere in the world. You don’t know where you are headed, you don’t know where you are going next, you don’t know when will you return, if ever, what you are going to do, you just leave.
You just leave everything behind and walk away. There are people who are going to miss you for a few days and then never think about you again. There are going to be assignments that you were supposed to fulfill but you don’t care anymore.
You were about to get promoted, you were expecting good results, you were earning good money, you were probably at the apex of your career but you were done with it.
We talk about birds being lucky to fly anywhere they want. We talk about them being free from any responsibility and can make their nest wherever they want. Just stop for a moment and look around you, what is stopping you from being a bird?
The birds could make a nest anywhere they want, but once they make a nest, they return to it every single night, but the idea of freedom lures us to being a bird.
Trust me, you are a bird too, just break free of your nest and fly. Fly wherever you want and whenever you want. Never make a nest again, to never return. Just migrate with the seasons.