Everything’s new.
Around you, about you? The place, the streets, even the birds sound different. It’s new, it’s happier, you’ve left your old life behind. It was a profound change. I mean, even if it were just cities and clothes and, uh, names? It was still for the better, at least that’s what you told me before you waved goodbye.
I knew life here was hard on you, your college was tough, your friends weren’t actually your friends, your boyfriend wasn’t treating your right, hot chocolates no longer treated you and it just got worse. I didn’t give you much time either, I mean I did call you and texted you every single day, but you never… I’m sorry not my point, I know, it’s on me!
I would have loved to see you smile again, I know I cannot see you anymore, or you don’t want me to, but hey, smile! Or just change your profile picture, I check your profile every day. No, I’m not stalking you, I just want to know where you went off to, and who are your new friends, I hope they are better than what you had here.
You’ll be the new girl in the school again, so I was just concerned if you found a partner for your project already or not. Because if you haven’t I could be, I mean, I cannot change the school and the cities, but I can help. I wish I could help you.
I was just going paranoid recently, so I just wrote you this. I don’t know if you will ever find it. Don’t worry about me, I’m always paranoid, you know that. It was just that I haven’t heard from you in a while, and you were last online over a year ago, at least that’s what the text near your name tells me, have you changed your number? And you even deleted one of your social media profiles, so.
But hey! Whenever you upload a new picture, remember to smile!
After being in the dark for 3 years, he lowered the note and kept it by her grave.
I never said I love you, I never said I like you as much. I was just saying how things could have been different if I did, and you did too. It was just a story, where I talked and you heard, I was a fiction that sounded real, and maybe you fell in love with the surreal.
I never said I want to be with you, I never meant that I want to hug you. I just said it would have been like Stardust, if and when we hugged. When I would have wrapped my arms around you, when I could be your pillow to cry on, and I would be your arms to laugh in, and I would see you smile in my chest, and you would have complained about my hug being too tight. And Stardust isn’t real, just like our hug, it is only in the stories.
I never said I’m falling for you, I never meant to compliment your eyes so. I just said that if and when I would have looked into them after a long tiring day, they would have brightened up my soul, it would have been the most amazing sight in the world that I would return to see every single night. And I would have treasured it, every time I looked into them, and when they shone like gems against sunlight. I never looked into them, for they were closed when I spoke, and it was just a story.
I never said I wanted to place a ring on your fingers, I just said it would be amazing. I would have taken you to your office every day of the week, and we would go to movies and shopping every single weekend. We would have long drives, sit by the beach, the sea, the mountains, the hay, the farms, the grasslands, the barns, the flowerbeds, the cities, the rooftops, and… and… adore the view, while we soak in each other, making memories and capturing laughs. I said it would have been amazing like it is in the stories.
I never said you were my protagonist, I never said she looks like you. I just said that her hair are hazel brown, just like her eyes, I don’t know what color to call it, but they do look like yours. I just said she’s shorter than me, and she loves to wear white shirts and blue jeans, you just happened to wear the same while you stood next to me. I just said she loves chocolates and carries them around in the basket of her bike, like you carry some for me when you come to meet me. You were never my protagonist because you are real and she isn’t, just like the fiction tale.
I never said I love you, I never said I like you as much, I just said if things would have been different, if we weren’t far apart, even as we stood abreast, if I wrote the story, I would have said it.
Stand by a cliff, look down, jump.
A new life, a new beginning, a new start. Or maybe, just walk away from the cliff, and pretend that your old life jumped off. The old you died today, it is time to let go of the grudges, it is time to let the pain settle, it is time to make friends, again.
The only thing that remains is the experience, skill, and degrees. Nothing else. It is time to let go of the battles and quarrels of the past and hug the person again. It is time to let go of the failures and see the goal again. It is time to run the road.
It might not be as easy as it sounds and it might not be the best thing you’ve decided to do all along, but it might be the best for you right now. Sometimes, more than the reason behind doing something isn’t as important as the purpose.
And now that you are running again, this time, remember, money isn’t everything. Success is not earning billions and hating your life so much that it takes you to the cliff, it is about being able to pay the bills and doing what you love to do. Earning less is fine, loving less isn’t.
Don’t torture yourself, instead, love you.
Tum ho toh
Khawishein bhi hai,
Kaash tum na ho
Toh khwab nahi hai,
Tum ho toh
Chahtein bhi hai,
Kaash tum na ho
Toh icchaien nahi hai,
Tum ho toh
Pyaar bhi hai,
Izhaar bhi hai,
Kaash tum na ho.
Tum ho toh,
Toh haan bhi hai,
Inkaar bhi hai,
Kaash tum na ho,
Mere ishq ka deedar,
Mere alfaaz ki pookar,
Meri haan ka inkaar,
Ho tum,
Meri ruh ki chavi ,
Meri kavita ki kavi,
Me Satlej toh Ravi,
Ho tum,
Mere likhne ki wajah,
Mere jeene ki chah ho tum,
Mere rukne ki wajah,
Mere bhadne ki rah ho tum,
Meri burai ki wajah,
Meri “wah” ho tum,
Kaash tum na ho,
Kyunki meri chah ho tum
Najane kyun tujhse joodah hun mein,
Najane kyun tujhse joohdha hun mein,
Kyun aaj bhi me tujhe chahta hun,
Kyun aaj bhi tujhe dekh na pata hun,
Kaise nahi dikhta tujhe tera yaar,
Kaise nahi hua tujhe mujhse pyaar.
Kaise nahi sunai di tujhe meri pookar,
Kaise sab yun chali gai tu?
Kaise sab ek pal me bhoolah gai tu?
Tum ho toh
Umeedien bhi hai,
Kaash tum nahi ho
Toh wajah hi na ho,
Tum ho toh,
Naajane kyun dil darta hai,
Kaash tum na ho,
Toh Wajood na ho.