When I was a kid, I used to lie to my parents so I would get a few extra hours with my friends, and my parents wanted me to stay at home and focus on myself, rather than spending time somewhere.
A few years down, I started lying to my friends so that I could stay at home and do something I want to do and not something everyone else wants to do. My parents wanted me to go out. I started cutting out people, kept only the very special ones close.
Another few years down the line, when the close ones left, there was no one around to invite me somewhere, and I wanted attention, so I started calling everyone in, and then when they started to call me, I started lying again, to stay at home.
Another year or two later, I started saying no directly instead of lying to my friends. And right now, I don’t even care. Someone calls me, I won’t go, someone doesn’t call me, I don’t care.
Is this actually how you grow up? Stop caring and start doing what is important?
My mom used to tell me you have to take everyone with you. By the time you are old enough, you will have a very big group and you’ll have the responsibility to keep everyone happy. Everyone you know, you need to keep your bonds with them and maintaining the bonds needs effort.
Well, I don’t have a group, and I don’t care. So, is this actually how you grow up. You stop caring, you stop being with people and love your own company? You are happier when you are alone? And don’t need someone to be around you any.
Times died, where you had this craving for someone to be in your life, someone to care about you, someone you can share everything with. Now you are happy the way you are and life is a lot better than it was when people were around?
Is this how you grow up? Or did I do something wrong?