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Growing up

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Sunain Singh Banga
Monday, 29 May 2017 / Published in The Writer's Page

If everything was as easy as crying for it,

If relationships never took any effort,

If happiness was not found materialistically

Yes, if growing up was an option.

I was walking down a lane when I saw a kid running after something or someone even though his grandma was right beside him.

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Those white dots, are pigeon poop.

A few days back, I went for an evening walk in and around the calmest place in the city. I never do walks. I prefer gym, but on that day my gym was closed, for some stupid reason that I’m still not aware of, but I had to do some activity. I was suffering from severe cramps in my legs because of the heavy workout on the day prior and it was just my body demanding exercise. So, I wore my tracks, I was already wearing track pants, so I changed from track pants to track pants. Those are my night wear tracks, I cannot wear them outside! I wore my running shoes on, plugged in my earphones and started walking.

I walked through the busy streets to where I wanted to be when my phone’s battery died out. I should have charged it, instead of that last online battle. Foolish me. Anyways, I pulled them out and continued walking until I heard a loud scream, what sounded to be of a 5-year-old. I turned my gaze to see a kid running to his grandma, she kept him telling him, if he runs faster he would catch up with his mom. The kid ran to where his mom and grandma stood, with all his might and when he reached there his mom wasn’t there, she had walked a little further. Now, again his grandma told him the same thing, but instead of running the kid started crying and his mom came back to him after touching the wall at the extreme end. She basically completed her round before coming back to him.

Now, that I think of the entire incident, we are all like that kid, just that we don’t cry, anymore. We all have our goals. Whatever it might be, but that’s what you want to have in your life. A shiny sport car, a super sport bike, a house, a mansion, a promotion, a job, a lost partner, a new partner, or an expectation to be met in the present relationship. We run towards it with all our might and when we reach there, we need a little more. Instead of chasing the mom, we could aim for the wall. The wall isn’t going anywhere and mom would have been so proud if you touched the wall instead of breaking down in the middle of nowhere.

We are more lost in the temporary gains than the long-term benefits. We want to meet our partner today, they are not in a good mood and it was obvious, but they had promised, so they have to. Yes, of course, you dressed up and might have surprises planned but let go for the day, meet tomorrow, or go meet them at their place, or pick them up from the office and drop them home. You don’t need to go for dinner, you could have a pizza and a bucket of ice-cream while the two of you watch a movie snuggling up in your pajamas or just plan something amazing for tomorrow, moments count, dinner and places don’t.

Instead of spending an hour in front of the mirror, applying everything from eye-liner to eye shadows and foundations to blushes and choosing between a variety of clothing spend an hour at the gym. You will look gorgeous until you don’t sweat, and then the artificial beauty will start dripping out. Instead, of being afraid of sweat, sweat at the gym, the process will be longer than a few hours, but it would be worth it. After a point, you won’t need make up to look amazing, you already don’t you are amazing. I’m not excluding guys, we too take a long time matching up pants and shirts.

And you know, the kid knew that if he cries, his mom would come back, but he missed out on a few 100 meters of this blissful place. Never mind, he got his mom and so would we one day, but guess what he left out.

No matter where you stand, no matter where you are, always remember, you have reached to your grandma. She’s there. You don’t need to cry. You were far off but now you are somewhere. You already have a lot, you have already made it to a place a lot better than where you were, and that is what kept and will keep boosting us towards our goals, to where we wasn’t to be, never ignore it.

If you think you don’t have anything worth living for or you are wasting your life or you are good for nothing, remember to look to your right and look up at that smiling face that is just glad to see you running. She has seen you in days where you struggled to stand up. She has seen your wobbly walk. But now, here you are, running after your dreams.

Take a minute out, and help someone. Support my movement make her listen.

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FUMBLE

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Sunain Singh Banga
Sunday, 28 May 2017 / Published in The Writer's Page

Do you believe in stars? Astrology? Nor did I.

Do you believe in fate? I do, and I believe that however adverse thing might seem right now, somethings are meant to be, and they’ll fix no matter what.

I’m 19, and this is a note to someone I may have met, or might meet in the future.

I’m an old-school lover, and once I say it to you no matter what    we fumble, we fight, we don’t fit, we split up, you walk away, I’m always going to be yours. I’ll try to fix everything till I’m bleeding because for me there is no turning back, and I’m sure I won’t regret in fact I’ll take pride in it. No matter what are our chances of getting back, no matter what the world says, I’m gonna fight until I have you back.

I take pride in the people I love and the little things I do for them. I’m going to buy you everything that catches my eye, I’ll buy you the most expensive gifts and spend all my savings down on your every birthday. If it’s not your birthday, I just love to surprise you, and well all of these don’t count to me so never mention them, I do that so once in a while I could see awing and smiling, and if you wish to mention, smile when you are wearing them. Your smile is what counts to me. But if you don’t like something I do or if I fumble, say it. It’s not going to hurt, I’ll do everything else for you, and also things I’ve never done for myself. Just never say something condemning about people I love, for a matter of fact even about yourself. I’m going to get really pissed if you do so, and it’s not going to be a good day, if it was already bad for you, it’s going to be worse; because for me, you could never fail, but if you do I fail with you and I don’t like the smell of failure. Don’t worry, I regret soon when I get pissed at my loved ones, I’m going to be back with you in about an hour, apologizing and then we are going to fight, even if you don’t want to. I’ll do whatever it takes to back you up and I might even just stand in front of you and take a bullet, but the fight is still yours.

I wish I could take pride in showing my emotions, but well, I don’t show them. I feel weak when I speak my heart, I feel vulnerable, I feel I’m going to be laughed at, so I’ll not talk to you for a few days, but once I’m over it, you have to listen to every minute detail of it, and don’t you dare say you need to go when I’m talking, say it before I start, not when I’m speaking. So probably when you are with me, I’ll speak a lot but I don’t speak up important things like “How much I love you”, I show them. I could write books about you, and I would show it in gestures because you are always on my mind, all you need you do is read me. But, once in a while, I fumble, I’ll probably vent out, and when I do, understand I do not cry or beg in front of people, but even if I’m at the verge if either, just understand what I’m going through, but don’t laugh or sympathize, just say “It’s going to be okay” or “Shit happens” and even if it doesn’t, I’ll believe it, because you said it.

I take pride in what I spend on you and it’s revenge-time for me if you spend even a penny or extra second of your life on me and I’m going to make up for it. You can call it my ego; I’m a nut job. Somehow, I don’t like the sight of people. I feel they can’t stand good things and you are the best thing on this planet! So we are going to click a lot of pics, if we don’t I’ll have a lot of pictures of you but I’m never going to upload any. I’ll frame them and put them all over my place and when someone asks me who is she, they are going to listen to the best story of their lives, but, I won’t go door to door telling everyone. Even though I’m introvert I love going out with you — only you, and we’ll go everywhere you say, but if I say I don’t have enough cash on me, let’s go tomorrow or let’s go somewhere else today, yes you could pay, but it’s going to be when you wish and when my pocket are full, not empty. It might not matter to you regarding who pays, but it does hurt me if you have to pay because my pockets were empty. Revenge time, remember?

No matter how many mistakes you make it’s never going to matter to me,

for all that counts to me is your effort. The effort you put in

‘us’.

Yes, I’m a nut job, ask anyone who knows me,

but you are loved with all I have in me.

If I ever say to you, “to the moon and back”, I mean it, and I mean a life, because you could drive a car to the moon and back with the energy a heart produces in a life.

Yes, I took up science.

 

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A Game

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Sunain Singh Banga
Saturday, 27 May 2017 / Published in The Writer's Page

I was a person,

Or I thought I was,

Because she played me like a game,

For the Player she was.

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I was the savior,

Or I thought I was,

Because she was never a prisoner,

Like she pretend she was.

I was her best man,

Or I thought I was,

For I never saw her ever again,

Because the liar she was.

I was wiping away her tears,

Or I thought I was,

For she was never crying,

Faking them, she was,

I was against taking advantage,

Or I thought I was,

For she took it of me,

Under her spell, I was.

I was against liars,

Or I thought was,

For none of it was true,

In love with a liar, I was.

I was a gamer,

Or I thought I was,

For she played me like a game,

Because the Player she was.

Take a minute out, and help someone.

Support my movement #makeherlisten

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You are… Stardust!

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Sunain Singh Banga
Friday, 26 May 2017 / Published in The Writer's Page

Sometimes it hard to believe in yourself,

Sometimes you might feel our worthless,

Sometimes all you need is someone,

But, sometimes all you need to do,

is remember your worth.

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You are going good, you are living your life, you have finally moved on to being someone after years of pain, agony and nights of crying to the moon. After years of wishing that the events that made you go from the class topper, from a happy-go-lucky person, from someone who would throw smiles at everyone, to someone who drops out of studying, to someone who no longer believes in luck, to someone who would be raged at all points and has not seen any face in a very long time; never happened. Your toe tips and worn out shoes were all you were seeing for years.

Finally, after years you are not going good. You are a blogger, a writer, an actor, an engineering student, an engineer might be, have started earning, or have excelled in the field you wanted to be in and already have what you dreamt of having 10 years from now. You are the best possible version of yourself. But, let’s say your past haunts you again. Let’s say your ex unblocks you, the mistake you made years ago when you were at school revives, the guy you punched in the face at the cinema turns up at your door. Like you popped a mint in the cola bottle and it erupted but now it’s calm. You are not frightened of it anymore and it is not erupting any longer but it stands right there.

So, your ex calls you one day crying over the phone and calls you to meet them. You don’t want to go, you know it could pull you back to where you were years ago, probably it could be a trap too. Of course, they are dating someone and they don’t owe you anything. But, they are crying, you can’t let someone cry, now could you? No matter how hard you have become over the years, you just can’t let it happen, so you go to meet them. They look as good as they were years ago and probably much better, even though they feel a little off and not handsome or gorgeous, you have an eye for the beauty. But, at the same time you can see the swollen eyes and dark circles they have from all the crying and sleepless nights. You walk up to talk to them but they just keep swinging between moods. Crying when they talk about their present partner, and laughing and smiling when they talk about you, themselves and the memories. They say they just broke up and needed a shoulder to cry on. You think now finally everything is going to be fine, and you could be friends again and finally there won’t be any hard feelings involved. But, what if all this was so that your ex could get back at their partner? What if you reach home have a message from their partner and realize the one for whom you left your task at hand, that was probably due tomorrow, went to meet them because, well, you are stupid, has blocked you again? Where does it leave you?

You need to remember one thing in life, no matter what happens today, no matter what would keep you awake for the entire next month, no matter what games someone plays on you, even though you were trying to be the savior, what really counts is what will last in the next five years. Remember Karma exist, you cried for them for years, they are crying in their new relationship. Yes, you didn’t wish for it, yes you cannot see them cry, but you never played them either. You are hurt, you are feeling low, you don’t want to talk to anyone right now, but your mom has been asking “What happened to my little child?”, and you have been shooing her away. Get up from that chair, look away from the screen and go and give her a hug right now. Even if this article doesn’t relate to you, even if she’s away, or far far away, get up and talk to her, or hug her, or remind her that you miss her, because she might not be there, but this will count in the next five years. Go, I’ll wait.

Are you back? Feeling better already? This is what a hug does to you. Don’t feel low, don’t feel that you are good for nothing, you are the best damn this world has, and is yet to see what potential you hold. Believe me when I say you are the star, you might think you are not a star practically or scientifically, but physically, you are. We are made from stuff stars are made of, we have the same elements and atoms the stars have; just in different proportions, but yes, you are made from star stuff. You are a star. Don’t be discouraged, don’t be frightened, don’t be the plastic base of the cake, you are the cherry. One of a kind, something everyone fights for.

Be the best version of yourself, somethings don’t count, and sometimes you have to pretend something didn’t happen at all. Remember, you are unique! You are stardust!

 

Take a minute out, and help someone.

Support my movement #makeherlisten

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It Rained in Mumbai

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Sunain Singh Banga
Tuesday, 16 May 2017 / Published in Me, The Writer's Page

It rained, here in Mumbai. and it is raining while I type this. It isn’t monsoon yet and it won’t be for another month, but it rained.

Mumbai Rains blog.jpg

The off season rains might be a little annoying but rains bring in so much. Besides, the traffic splattering mud on you, ruining your documents and electronic devices or it forcing you to cancel your sun bathing plans or leather associated fashion ideas, there is something too ecstatic about it to be overlooked. It takes me back in time, I’m hardly 20, but every year, every damn year I go back into the years I’ve spent in Mumbai rains, and they only make me wonder that could it be better this year? No, it can’t be I think, but this city never fails to surprise.

If not for rains and the way this city feeds my sweet-tooth, I would have moved out already. Every first rain take me back to the time when I was about 5 years old, and I was diagnosed with sinus. I swear it was not my fault. My mom said carrying an umbrella would help me not get sick in the rains this year, and then I could enjoy them more. So, I did. I carried an umbrella everyday. But only when I was diagnosed, I realized I have to open the umbrella every time it rains and keep myself from getting wet and also, not use it to push water off the polyethylene sheets on the sheds, onto me. How am I going to enjoy rains then?!

But, anyways, when I was diagnosed, I was told not to go to school, (yay me!) stay at home and not going into rains anymore (Why?! I’m fine! *does one push up* see!). In the next week, my head hurt continuously and then I got my skull scanned, maybe? That was it? Whatever it was, the results were bad. My infection was more severe than my mom and doctor uncle first thought. So, I asked my mom what happened and she said,

“Tere dimag me paani bhar gaya hai” (hindi)

“You have water traces in your brain”, and I went “Whoa! That’s cool!”. It was something else, my mom just said it in a way I would understand. I even have an x-ray of my brain, and it is big, believe me. Or it just might be zoomed in, but it seemed big though. So I went home and showed my brother the X-ray and told him just one thing, “You had been lying all these years, I have a brain!”, and everybody laughed. I was serious back then and I never understood why anybody laughed. But, now when I look back, in every rain drop, I see why they laughed and why my Mickey Mouse umbrella could never keep me from getting sick.

Summer rains and the post monsoon rains, are still my favorite parts, besides the mid-monsoon heavy rains and the monsoon rains, and pretty much the entire season, basically rains. Anyways, the off season rains are too special because they are unexpected and serendipitous.

“Rains bring in too much,

Scientifically, a million-billion-billion molecules of water,

Practically, infinite memories.”

Image Source: Self-clicked.

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Fumble

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Sunain Singh Banga
Saturday, 13 May 2017 / Published in The Writer's Page

Do you believe in stars? Astrology? Nor did I.

Do you believe in fate? I do, and I believe that however adverse thing might seem right now, somethings are meant to be, and they’ll fix no matter what.

I’m 19, and this is a note to someone I may have met, or might meet in the future.

I’m an old-school lover, and once I say it to you no matter what    we fumble, we fight, we don’t fit, we split up, you walk away, I’m always going to be yours. I’ll try to fix everything till I’m bleeding because for me there is no turning back, and I’m sure I won’t regret in fact I’ll take pride in it. No matter what are our chances of getting back, no matter what the world says, I’m gonna fight until I have you back.

I take pride in the people I love and the little things I do for them. I’m going to buy you everything that catches my eye, I’ll buy you the most expensive gifts and spend all my savings down on your every birthday. If it’s not your birthday, I just love to surprise you, and well all of these don’t count to me so never mention them, I do that so once in a while I could see awing and smiling, and if you wish to mention, smile when you are wearing them. Your smile is what counts to me. But if you don’t like something I do or if I fumble, say it. It’s not going to hurt, I’ll do everything else for you, and also things I’ve never done for myself. Just never say something condemning about people I love, for a matter of fact even about yourself. I’m going to get really pissed if you do so, and it’s not going to be a good day, if it was already bad for you, it’s going to be worse; because for me, you could never fail, but if you do I fail with you and I don’t like the smell of failure. Don’t worry, I regret soon when I get pissed at my loved ones, I’m going to be back with you in about an hour, apologizing and then we are going to fight, even if you don’t want to. I’ll do whatever it takes to back you up and I might even just stand in front of you and take a bullet, but the fight is still yours.

I wish I could take pride in showing my emotions, but well, I don’t show them. I feel weak when I speak my heart, I feel vulnerable, I feel I’m going to be laughed at, so I’ll not talk to you for a few days, but once I’m over it, you have to listen to every minute detail of it, and don’t you dare say you need to go when I’m talking, say it before I start, not when I’m speaking. So probably when you are with me, I’ll speak a lot but I don’t speak up important things like “How much I love you”, I show them. I could write books about you, and I would show it in gestures because you are always on my mind, all you need you do is read me. But, once in a while, I fumble, I’ll probably vent out, and when I do, understand I do not cry or beg in front of people, but even if I’m at the verge of either, just understand what I’m going through, but don’t laugh or sympathize, just say “It’s going to be okay” or “Shit happens” and even if it doesn’t, I’ll believe it, because you said it.

I take pride in what I spend on you and it’s revenge-time for me if you spend even a penny or extra second of your life on me and I’m going to make up for it. You can call it my ego; I’m a nut job. Somehow, I don’t like the sight of people. I feel they can’t stand good things and you are the best thing on this planet! So we are going to click a lot of pics, if we don’t I’ll have a lot of pictures of you but I’m never going to upload any. I’ll frame them and put them all over my place and when someone asks me who is she, they are going to listen to the best story of their lives, but, I won’t go door to door telling everyone. Even though I’m introvert I love going out with you — only you, and we’ll go everywhere you say, but if I say I don’t have enough cash on me, let’s go tomorrow or let’s go somewhere else today, yes you could pay, but it’s going to be when you wish and when my pocket are full, not empty. It might not matter to you regarding who pays, but it does hurt me if you have to pay because my pockets were empty. Revenge time, remember?

No matter how many mistakes you make it’s never going to matter to me,

for all that counts to me is your effort. The effort you put in

‘us’.

Yes, I’m a nut job, ask anyone who knows me,

but you are loved with all I have in me.

If I ever say to you, “to the moon and back”, I mean it, and I mean a life, because you could drive a car to the moon and back with the energy a heart produces in a life.

Yes, I took up science.

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Midnight Talks

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Sunain Singh Banga
Thursday, 11 May 2017 / Published in Stories, Novels and Excerpts, The Writer's Page

I have shifted over here just a few days back. It was cheap and abandoned. No one has lived here for the past year and there are no shops around. No human contact at cheap rates, what else could I have asked for. There has been a black out. It won’t go till the next four hours. I have an exam tomorrow. Candles might do for today. I walk into the kitchen and scavenge for candle and matches.

There is a knock on the door. I walk over and pull the door open.

“Do you have any candles?” The girl from next door. I cannot see her face but I can quite tell it from her voice, besides the odor.

“I’m wondering that too.”

“Do you mind if I can in or you come over? I’m afraid of dark and this is… frightening.” She says.

“Be my guest.” I said and she walks in and latches the door.

I lead her to the sitting area in the living room. I leave her there and go to get my phone or torches or any sort of emergency lights. The batteries have all died out. She stood by the window and then hopped on the window sill her feet dangling three floor above the soil.

“I’m not disturbing you, am I? There isn’t much you could do anyways.” She said looking out of the window.

“No.” I said.

“Join me she said tapping on the window sill.” I stood there frozen wondering how to react. “Are you afraid of heights?” She said looking up at the stars.

“Well, er, I’m not quite-”

“Come on I’m with you.” She said and tapped on the sill again without looking at me.

I’m not afraid of heights, but I’m not quite fond of them too, the black out that engulfed the city, a stranger I secretly admire and three floors of height, I don’t think I want to be sitting on the window sill with my feet dangling out.

“Come, I’m waiting.” She said. I hesitantly walked over and stood behind her. She held my hand and pulled me up until I sat beside her. She took my hand and put it around her. I felt something wet and cold, it was thin.

“I’m sorry, I just took a bath and couldn’t find a towel because lights went out. But you don’t need to be afraid as long as you hand stays.” She said rotating her head slowly until she face me.

“Thanks.” I said having nothing else to say. I haven’t been around someone from years. After my last relationship three years ago, there was nothing I wanted to do.

“I always wanted to be a pilot you know, flying in the sky, talking to birds, hopping on clouds. But, I turned out to be a writer. I write for a very specific community and people seem to love it. You could read me in any language you want, except on screens.” The girl I wanted to talk to ever since I moved in, was telling me everything about her.

“Do you have something to eat maybe?” She asked.

“Okay.” I said and walked over to the kitchen.

“How is it different to be in light?” she asked.

“I don’t get you?”

“I have never seen light. I write in Braille.” She said.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, how did it happen?”

“I was born this way, what do we have by the way?”

“Sandwiches?” I shouted from the kitchen and the lights went on. I stood there with a knife and a bread loaf. She didn’t say anything.

“Sandwiches?” I called out louder. She still didn’t say a word. I walked out and looked for her. She wasn’t there. I looked at her in the room, she wasn’t there too.

“Wait a minute, if she was blind how is she afraid of dark? How does she know there was a black out?” I thought.

I stepped walked out into the passage and knocked at her door. She didn’t respond. I knocked harder, same result. I looked down there was a lock on the door I held it in disbelief. A cold breeze flew. I covered my eyes from dust when I looked at my hand. It was… red. A shadow stood on the dark stairs.

“I cannot be in light.” She whispered.

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Gustakh

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Sunain Singh Banga
Wednesday, 10 May 2017 / Published in Uncategorized

Tuti ghadiyon ka andaaz accha hai,

Yeh toh pata lagta hai ki woh tuti hai,

Kash dilon ka bhi kuch aisa hai hota.

 

Woh unjaani manzil, aur raston ke ishare

Woh tera mujhse milna, uss jheel ke kinare,

Woh tasveeron ki yadein, aur dhadkano ke sahare,

Woh khoyi hui manzilein, aur raston ke ishare.

 

Najaane kahan kho gae, hum unn mulakaton me,

Woh namsamjhi aur unn unjani shararaton me,

Woh bewakoofi jo mene tujhko samjha apno me,

Woh sacchai jo thi bhi jhoothi sapno me.

 

Najane mene kyun maan liya, jab tune kabhi kuch kaha hi nahi,

Woh jo tune hamesha keh kar bhi kabhi nibhaya hi nahi,

Woh jab mene samjha ki chahat hai tu meri,

Woh thi siraf ek galti meri,

 

Najaane mene kyun socha tu saath degi mera,

Nahi tha me tera ashiq, na koi khaas tera

Nahi tha me tera Mirza, na hi Ranjha tha tera,

Par nahi tha me dhoke ke layak, jispe tune naam likha mera

Najaane tu idher chali gai, jab me ruka tha yahi

Kyun tune mujhe kabhi samjha hi nahi

Kya mila tujh uske saath? Jo mene tujhe diya nahi

Chalo, do tute dil, aur jalan hi sahi

Janta hu me, tu aaj bhi mujhe dur se dekhti hai,

Janta hun me, tu aaj bhi nazar pherti hai.

Janta hun me, tu fir mudke dekthi hai,

Janta hun me, kyunki teri maujudagi khilti hai,

Me yeh kabhi kahunga nahi,

Me kabhi peeche paltunga nahi.

Kyunki accha lagta hai,

Jab tu yuh dekthi hai, aur yaad karti hai,

 

Woh kitabon ke mehfil, aur shabdon ki baarish,

Woh jhilmilati jheel, aur chanda ki sifarish,

Woh teri muskurahat, aur hawa ki guzarish,

Woh mohabbaton ki mehfil, aur nafraton ki baarish

Gustakh hai teri narazagi, jo mujhe aaj bhi bahati hai,

Gustakh hai teri khushboo,  jo mujhe aaj bhi satati hai,

Gustakh hai teri aavaj, jo dhoon hai meri khushi ki

Gustakh hai teri dhadkan, Jo meri khushi thi.

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Excerpt #2

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Sunain Singh Banga
Saturday, 06 May 2017 / Published in Stories, Novels and Excerpts, The Writer's Page

I told the twilight everything.
Where we met, where I first saw her, when did we first talk, the incidents that bought us close, the sand fights, her birthday party, the first time she heard me play, the first video, the first blind folded guitarist, my first gig, my first show and everything. Every event we had, except the moments you don’t share, and stay within the relationship. Between all these conversation, I could see her leaving her place in a black one-piece. It only made everything easier to say and difficult to not feel.

“You know, it’s been very long that I haven’t seen her nicely and I don’t know if I would see her soon, but you know right now, I just crave her presence, we could just be sitting her, not doing anything that would count. It could be completely silent, but I still know it would be magical. I don’t even know why I need her anymore, I don’t even know if I love her, I want to forget her but I know there’s no one in this entire world that could make me as happy as she does, and I don’t know what do I see in her, if you are going to ask. She’s so imperfect. Do you know she stammers? But she takes me to lands I’ve never been to. They are from out of this world, just like her. It’s been so long that I’ve known her and I still don’t know what I fell for? Her eyes or that face she makes and the way her lips move when she looks at me.” I chuckled. “It could be her angry red nose too.” I said my eyes following her movements as she walked with slow steps.

“So what now?” I heard the twilight ask, breaking the silence.

“I don’t know. We ignore each other, we walk past each other like we never sat the other, but deep down. I still skip a beat when I even hear her name. and I’m even afraid to meet her now, if she’s not like what she used to be, I don’t want those memories to change. She’s a drug, morphine, I know that I shouldn’t, but I want more.”

“Will you never meet her then?”

“I don’t know. She’s just a stranger now, a stranger with all my secrets.” I chuckled again. “Don’t ever fall in love, okay Moon? It’s a world of hookups, being an old school romantic sucks, falling in love sucks, and it only takes you to a special kind of hell, and do you know the hardest part?” I said and jumped onto the terrace from the platform. “Seeing her fall in love with someone else.” I said as I walked up to the railing, getting closer to her.
“Just go, alright, before she actually starts dating someone.” he said.

“I want to, but I can’t.” I said and took a deep breath.

“Why?”

“Because she already is.”

“Whom?”

“You don’t want to know.”

“Then let her go, you don’t need her!”

“Just because it is hard, it doesn’t make me not need her. You don’t give up on people you love.”

“So, you’ll just sit here? Drinking beers?”

“I’ll wait. I know we are meant to be and things will eventually turn out. I told her, ‘I love you’. I didn’t say it for a very long time, even after I felt it, because I was afraid. But, when I said it, I meant it, and you could love only once, it doesn’t happen twice. I can’t see perfection in anyone else. I made a promise to her, I would never let us break. I couldn’t keep that, but well, I could try to at least keep a piece of that promise?”

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Parchaai

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Sunain Singh Banga
Saturday, 06 May 2017 / Published in poetry

Duniya se ladkar,

Duniya se bach kar,

Tujhse ek wada kiya tha mene,

Har pal marr kar

Har pal darr kar,

Tujhe apne pass rakha tha mene,

Darte darte inta darr gaya,

Ki tujhse hi darne laga tha me,

Uss dar ki yaad me din yuhi guzar jata hai,

Dil tujhse na mil sake, toh teri parchai se milna chahta hai.

Aaj duniya diwaani hai,

Mujhse milne ke liye,

Kyun, yeh toh me nahi janta

Par mujhe diwaangi hai,

Tujhse milne ke liye

Kyun, yeh toh me nahi janta.

Uss pagli ka pagal hu me,

 Uss Heer ka Ranjha hun me,

Uss Diwangi ki yaad me din yuhi Guzar jata hai,

Dil tujhse na mil sake, toh teri parchai se milna chahta hai.

Kabhi nahi samjha tune,

 Kabhi nahi jaana tune,

Kitna jalta hun me,

Jab tere saath koi hota hai,

Jab tujhse koi kuch bolta hai,

Kitna sadta hun me,

Tere liye un sabko bhaga diya mene,

Unn sabki tasveeron ko jala diya mene,

Teri bewafiyon me, din yuhi guzar jata hai,

Dil tujhse na mil sake, toh teri ruh se milna chahta hai.

Na jaane me kyun darta tha,

Na jaane me kyun jalta hun,

Jab tu meri kabhi thi hi nahi,

Toh me kyun yeh sochta tha,

Toh me kyun yeh sochta hun,

 Tu meri kabhi hogi hi nahi,

Wapis aaegi tu, me yeh janta hun,

Mere saath rahegi tu, me janta hun

Tab tak

Hamari tesveeron me, teri muskurahat me sama jata hun me,

Aur har pal, bas yehi magta hun me,

Teri yaadon me, din bas yuhi guzar jae,

Tu nahi, toh teri parchai mil jae.

If you liked this post then,

Like and share

Support my movement #makeherlisten Here.

Find my other blogs Here

Follow me for more updates Here

Buy my Work The First Crush at 13 Here(International) and Here(India)

And connect with me on Facebook, Twitter (@SunainBanga), Google+, Instagram

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